Get your head in the game and put your mouth to use with these mouthwatering cunnilingus tips!
Your partner will be sure to love you heading south once you get your lips around this beginner-friendly guide. So, go on… read further to find out how you can please and tease with just your tongue.
1. Talk to Your Partner about What They Enjoy
Our number one tip is to sit down and have a conversation with your partner before cunnilingus for the first time. Oftentimes, this is associated with kink and BDSM practices, but honestly, an open line of communication is going to enhance not only your sex lives but your relationship and intimacy with each other, regardless of sexual preferences.
Plus, showing interest in your partner’s pleasure is a huge turn-on for some! While you definitely should have a conversation before anything sexy happens, dirty talk is an excellent way to check in with your partner during oral, too. Ask questions like:
- “Do you like how I touch you here?”
- “Would you like it if I went harder or kept it the same?”
- “I want to feel how wet you are… Can I put my fingers inside you?”
- “How does it feel when I do X with my tongue?”
2. Find the Clit!
Sometimes, the clitoris feels like an elusive little thing that must move around because of how some people struggle to find it, but honestly, it doesn’t! With 38% of straight women saying they orgasm at least once during sex if clitoral stimulation occurs, it really is important that you find the clit. Many women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, so ensuring you cover all bases with some bean-flicking action is essential if you want to make her cum.
Further down, I’ll give you some more cunnilingus tips about combining external and internal pleasure points for mindblowing results.
So, where is the clitoris then? If you refer to the handy diagram above, you’ll see that it sits above the urethra, which is above the vaginal opening. The externally visible part of the clit is quite small, averagely measuring about 2mm up to 1cm. You may have to move the clitoral hood to see the clitoris, but trust me, it’s always in the same place 😉
3. That Being Said… Give Some Love to the Whole Vulva
For such a small thing, the clit is very, very sensitive for some, so spend time getting to know the rest of the vulva and your partner’s body as well. It can make the whole experience much more enjoyable if you take your time kissing down their stomach and the inside of their legs before teasing around the mons pubis and labia.
Now, for anyone who’s worried about taste or smell, I’ll be honest: it’s not a bouquet of roses. But it shouldn’t be! Everyone’s natural smell will be slightly different, but it is going to smell… like a vulva. A partner should appreciate and enjoy the scent of their playmate as opposed to making them feel self-conscious.
We’re not doctors here at Bondara, so if you are concerned about the health of your vagina, please refer to this guide and contact your GP.
4. Unlearn Your ABCs
I couldn’t find the exact origins of this method, but what I could find was an abundance of women asking men to STOP doing this. If you’re not familiar, the ABC or Alphabet technique is when you draw letters on your partner’s clit or vulva.
The problem with this is each letter will feel different, so you won’t be maintaining the constant rhythm necessary to bring your lover to climax. It also often involves forming a pointy, probing shape with your tongue, which is seriously not enjoyable.
5. Keep It Constant
“So if I don’t do the ABCs, what do I do?!” There are soooo many things you can do but I’ll just cover the basics so you can do the erotic exploration yourself!
Firstly, you’ll want your tongue to be flat and wide. Don’t feel silly; practice relaxing your tongue, almost like you were licking a lolly. From here, you can lick from the base of the vaginal entrance all the way to the clit, or around the labia minora, etc.
Secondly, try sucking on the clitoris. Form an ‘O’ with your mouth like you’re whistling. This will create a sensation like the very popular clit suction toys that have taken over the sex toy market in recent years. If you’re feeling more adventurous, you can lick and suck at the same time!
The ultimate thing to remember once you’ve found something that works is to stick to it! Keeping a constant rhythm, ESPECIALLY as they’re about to cum, will help take them all the way over the edge.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Use Your Hands… Or Toys!
When it comes to sex, we can’t do everything. It’d be literally impossible because you’d need six arms if you wanted to stimulate all the erogenous zones. So, it’s important to know all the tools that are at your disposal so you can ramp up all those feel-good sensations without feeling like you’ve got a massive to-do list.
If you’re looking to add stimulation for the giver, the flavoured lubes are a great way to go, as they can make ‘eating’ feel even more satisfying. Plus, if your partner is in any way concerned about taste, this could help them relax.
Need more stimulation? Experiment with items like texture gloves if you want to stick to manual methods. The bumps and nodules provide an extra layer of pleasure that you wouldn’t get with fingers alone. To really ramp things up, I’d grab a G-spot vibrator. As they’re curved, they’ll massage the G-spot very effectively, so you can focus on sucking and licking.
7. Foreplay AND the Main Event
Oral should be one of many things you do with your partner. It’s incredibly versatile, which makes it perfect foreplay for warming up before moving on to other sexy things. Orgasm doesn’t always have to be the goal every time you take a trip between their legs. Sometimes, it can just be to get juices flowing and heighten arousal.
However, sex doesn’t have to be an experience where both of you climax or where penetration happens. With this in mind, while you’re exploring cunnilingus with our tips, don’t jump into this with the idea that because you’ve given them head, you will get something back. Sometimes, the main event IS oral, and that should be just as enjoyable.
8. Don’t Bite! Unless They Ask You To
Personally, I feel like this one goes without saying, but let’s not leave anything to chance. DON’T BITE IT! The clitoris is an incredibly sensitive little thing packed with over 10,000 nerve endings! Even licking it can be too much for some people, so biting it is not going to be a fun experience.
The key thing to remember here is our very first tip on this list: Talk to each other. If your partner has explicitly told you to have a nibble, then if you want to, go right ahead. But, under no circumstances should you just give it a try without asking them first.
9. Switch Positions
Position is everything, and there are all kinds of angles you can eat pussy from, with some being better than others. The receiver can be lying down, standing, bent over in a “doggy” position, or even “queening” with some facesitting! Trust me, it completely changes the dynamics of oral sex if your partner is sitting on your face.
Just remember with these cunnilingus tips, whatever position you choose to go down south, just make sure it’s a comfortable one. No one wants a crick in their neck the next day! We’ve put some of our favourite oral sex positions below for you to find the perfect one for you and your lover.
10. Don’t Try to Recreate Porn – It’s Not Real
Porn is mostly filmed to look good on screen, not feel good for the people involved, despite what you may have been led to believe. Let’s be honest: if you’ve got a camera pointed at your fanny, there’s not exactly room for someone to get in there and actually do something enjoyable. So, instead of solely looking at adult films for inspiration, go back to step number 1 in this guide.
However, part of talking to each other about likes and dislikes can be looking at porn you’ve enjoyed or discussing fantasies together. For example, your OH may have read a particularly good spicy book with a scene they’d like to recreate in it.
Now take these fantastic cunnilingus tips (try saying that five times faster 😉 ), and get your face wet! Your lover will thank you for taking the time to get to know every single part of them…
Strawberry Vulva Image courtesy of The Cunniliguist – Alex B. Porter
