How to Eat Pussy

Oral sex: perfect on its own and as foreplay but so easy to get wrong. Unlike going down on men, when their most sensitive spot is – quite literally – staring you in the face, women are more elusive. To ensure you going south on her doesn’t do the same to her arousal, we’ve compiled our top ten tips on how to eat pussy. Make sure that jaw’s loose and we’ll get straight down to it.

Women are complex…

Not a particularly ground-breaking statement, we know, but it’s important to explain this. Please don’t be offended if one day all we want is for you to go down on us and the next day we recoil in horror at the suggestion. Sometimes, we proudly view ‘down there’ as a pussy, a honey pot and a heavenly grove of love. Other times, it’s purely a vagina; completely unsexy and not fit for your horny purpose. There’s not much rhyme or reason for this but if it’s an off day, we’ll struggle to enjoy it. This isn’t to say all sex is out of the question, we just may not want your face buried in us.

 

Friends with Benefits oral sex under bedsheet

Ease us into it…

Diving head first into something unprepared is a bad idea in the best of situations, so please don’t do it to our pussies. Tease and tantalise us: kiss down our bodies, up our thighs and give brief flicks of your tongue against our clit. This doesn’t have to go on for hours but a couple of minutes to turn us on will make all the difference.

We can feel everything down there…

…which, for the most part, is ideal for oral sex. However, it does also mean that your stubble will have us feeling like we’re burning up. For extra brownie points, try to resist the temptation of resting your face on us, even if you’re clean shaven. If all we can feel is your tongue working its magic, it will feel a hundred times more intense and you’re guaranteed to have our full attention.

The Holy Grail…

We promise the clit isn’t a myth. If you don’t know where it is, try licking your tongue up our pussy. Feel that hard bump at the top? Congratulations, you’ve found it! With its 8,000 nerve endings, this sweet spot may as well have been made for oral sex. Find it. Use it. We beg you. Once you’re there, little upward strokes will have us moaning with pleasure. If you fancy being adventurous, try sucking on it – lightly. The unusual sensation will surprise us and set you apart from the rest.

 

American Pie man giving woman oral sex

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as ABC…

Remember the scene in American Pie when they find the book of love, packed full of tips for inexperienced, horny teens? This is where the ABC method belongs. Please, please, please don’t use your tongue to write the alphabet on our pussies. Not only can we tell when you’ve resorted to this, it does nothing for us. We’ll lose interest in your D before you even get the chance to spell it out.

So, what can you do?

Mix it up and pay attention to the whole of the pussy. Take advantage of the versatility of your tongue; soft and flat feels completely different to hard and pointed. A tip if you do the latter: there’s only so much pressure you can give before it feels like you’re impersonating a frog catching its food (i.e. not a good feeling). Your tongue can not do the same job as your penis so get your fingers involved instead. For top marks, stimulate the g-spot while licking the clit. Don’t be afraid of using your teeth but test the water first with a gentle (we can’t emphasise this enough) bite on our clit. If your partner enjoys it, she’ll love it. If she doesn’t…well, at least you know for next time.

Collage of Monica from Friends with erogenous zones oral sex

Accept your limits…

Please don’t wear yourself out trying to flick your tongue as quickly as possible. If you want to recreate the speed of a vibrator, why not just use a vibrator? There are some amazing designs out there that you can even attach to your own tongue. To send us into overdrive, try pressing it against our clit. You don’t need to get this out every time you go down on us but it’ll bring a new and exciting element to oral sex that we won’t forget (plus, we may fancy wearing it to return the favour on you).

 

Respond to our reactions…

Don’t be surprised if your current girlfriend hates the thing that pretty much guaranteed your ex an orgasm. Some girls are upfront and honest if they don’t like what you’re doing but others prefer to be subtle. An obvious sign of pleasure is moaning, so keep doing what you’re doing if you hear us. If we start to move our bodies away from you, we’re probably trying to direct you to a different spot. Follow our lead and we’ll be putty in your hands (and mouth).

Photo of man kissing woman's stomach

An orgasm isn’t the end goal…

You’re probably thinking: “of course it’s the end goal!” No. Regardless of what it is you’re doing, sometimes an orgasm just doesn’t come. Try to avoid saying how much you want to make us climax; we know you mean well but it puts so much pressure on us and we hate disappointing you. If it appears your partner’s hit her peak and not orgasmed, try not to force it. If you do, you’ll both be left feeling turned off and frustrated. It’s not an issue with you and you shouldn’t take it personally, so ease off the oral sex and let her take control on how to continue – it may simply be that she’s really craving full penetration.

Don’t assume you’re guaranteed a kiss at the end…

Please don’t be offended if we don’t want to kiss you once you’ve just been licking us. Would you be overly thrilled if we tried to kiss you with the same mouth that’s just been sucking your cock? Kiss our neck and, if we’re cool with it, we’ll make the first move to kiss you back.

Learning how to eat pussy is a valuable, lifelong skill (at least it is in our eyes!). It’s difficult to do well but once you’ve nailed it we’ll be forever grateful. What are you waiting for? Go and test your new skills!

1 comment
  1. stephanie
    stephanie
    March 22, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    It’s great information for eating pussy.
    Yes agree “An orgasm isn’t the end goal” if she can’t enjoy

    Reply
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