No matter what you’ve been led to believe, foreplay isn’t optional. But, like most great things, good foreplay takes time, planning, and patience.
It’s not all fluffy handcuffs and massage wands… Well, sometimes it is! Foreplay is an erotic build-up of body & mind and is very necessary for sensational sex!
Of course, sex toys are an excellent place to start, but the recipe for an earth-shattering pre-game goes deeper than that.
So, get the low down on the pre-game lovin’ YOU need with our list of tips & tricks to rock your partner’s world!
Basics of Foreplay
1. Consent
It’s 2022, guys – Respect is sexy! If you still think asking for consent is a ‘mood killer’, we can’t be friends… Questions like “Does that feel good?” and “I want to touch you. Where do you like to be touched?” is enough to get anyone hot under the collar. It’s all about the anticipation!
Once consent is established, you’ll want to make sure it’s an ongoing thing, and safe words are an excellent way of checking in with your partner. The Traffic Light system for safe words is ideal if you’re struggling to think of one. RED means stop all activity and immediately go into aftercare, YELLOW means “I want this specific thing to stop because I’m no longer feeling it/am comfortable“, and GREEN means GO, GO, GO!
Don’t forget non-verbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language account for 80% of human communication. So, be sure to keep an eye on your partner for enthusiastic consent.
2. Intent
What do you want out of sex with your partner? How do you want foreplay to go down? Have you been clear about what you’re looking to explore or experience? No one wants to feel their needs weren’t met, so communicating how you’d like to give or receive pleasure with your partner is an excellent step in the right direction.
3. Listen
Opening a dialogue about your desires is a hella sexy discussion with your partner. What do they really want? What makes them tick sexually? Maybe you’ll find that you’re both into very similar things! Plus, this is an ongoing discussion, not one and done. As you explore together and get more comfortable, you may find that you’re both more willing to try new things because of the good basis of communication you’ve built. Talking and listening to your partner is precisely where good foreplay starts.
4. Research
Who knew studying could be sexy, eh? Sex educators, sexologists, and the like have a wealth of advice to share with you over bite-sized podcasts or an audible download. Let’s be honest, when else can you justify watching porn or listening to a sex audiobook?
Of course, this is with the mind that you are finding what you or your partner are interested in exploring. You don’t have to do this alone! If your partner likes to read smut, do it together in a sexy book club. If there’s a particular kink you like, introduce them to it. Take baby steps with this, though. You don’t want to scare them off by throwing them into the deep end! Remember No.1 – if they’re not into it, don’t push!
5. Self Care
You want to feel sexy when you have sex… It’s sort of in the name. Get to know your body and your partners! Check out our helpful article, ‘Be Kinder to Your Vagina’, for tips and tricks for feminine sexual wellness. Whether that’s through intimate research or some one-on-one time with yourself, learn turn-ons, turn-offs and what gets your creative juices flowing 😉 (Don’t be dirty, we’re talking about Dopamine!)
Let’s Make This Interesting
6. Make Time
Nothing says “I love you” like spending time with one another. So, put aside an afternoon to lay with each other and prioritise your partner. Let your kisses linger across their body for a half-hour at a time. Build that suspense! Give them the impromptu blow job of their dreams! They won’t forget it, and what’s more, they’ll be raring to go next time. Sharing is caring, after all.
7. Imagine
Don’t be afraid of your sexy brain; you did all that research, and now it’s time to put it to good use! Role-playing is an excellent exercise in sexual creativity.
Perhaps it’s a particular erotic fiction narrative that you want to act out that involves costumes. Maybe you’ve always wanted to try sensation play with a glass or metal sex toy. It could be as simple as exploring bondage with rope or tape. There’s no shame in being vanilla, but you should really let your freak flag fly in the pursuit of amazing foreplay!
8. Look Good / Feel Good
Kick start your confidence in those hot and steamy moments with seductive lingerie and erotic fashion – It’s the oldest trick in the book! When you look good, you feel good so find what makes you feel sexy. We’ve got you covered here at Bondara with sexy costumes, fetish clothing, erotic men’s wear, seductive lingerie and sexy hosiery to suit everyone. Whatever your tastes, we’ve got something to cover them (barely!).
9. Sex Aids & Essentials
Discomfort is a turn-off (unless you’re into S&M), but the gentle glide of a dildo certainly isn’t! So, get juicy and wet with our luscious range of lubes. Do you like your nipples to be sucked? Perhaps you’d enjoy a set of nipple pumps from our female sex aids range. The world of sexual pleasure is a huge market, with many products to help everyone achieve their fantasies for mind-blowing sex every which way.
10. Novelty
Novel ideas to learn and share pleasure are a surefire way to ignite passion. New sex toy, new city, new lusty lingerie, new you! Ever screamed “Oui, Oui!” on a Parisian balcony overlooking the Louvre? Have you thought about enjoying a spanking scene in a swanky fetish hotel? How about tying each other up in knots in a Japanese Rope Bondage class? These types of experiences are the definition of unforgettable. Indeed, the Sex Experience industry is rocketing, so there are more fun ways to explore than ever before!
We hope we’ve encouraged you to expand your sexy horizons! Let us know how foreplay has helped your sex life in the comments below.
