Your Guide to Sexting in Six Steps

Shakespeare may have had his sonnets, but we’ve got sexting. The sext is the perfect masturbatory medium for long-distance lovin’ and lockdown boredom-busting, but – most of all – it’s really fun! Honestly, there’s nothing quite like it for letting off steam.

A horny text can be an amuse-bouche to foreplay; a psychological playground to explore your dirty mind and discover what really turns them on. All the while, you’re generating filth from your fingertips at record-breaking characters per second!

And sure, sexting isn’t rocket science, but there are a few key things you could bear in mind before dirtying your text transcripts…

So, we’ve taken a retrospective look at our chat histories to give you our six top dos and don’ts for a successful sext sesh’!

1. It’s the Little Things That Count

If there’s ever a good time to proof-read your text, it’s just before hitting send on series of sexts. You don’t want to accidentally ‘duck’ your boo, no matter how persistent auto-correct maybe! So, take the time to ensure your message is legible.

Clean punctuation makes all the difference. Exclamation marks and full capitals can take your text from sexy to over-bearing, so remember the three S’s:

  • Smooth
  • Seductive
  • Subtle

To emoji or not to emoji? – that’s how it goes, right? It pretty much comes down to personal preference but, if you’re unsure, leave them out.

Although there’s no mistaking the implicit meaning of the aubergine and peach emojis, they’ve become so popular that they’ve lost their sex appeal! No-one blinks an eye if they see an aubergine emoji pop up on their Twitter feed, so it’s a good idea to keep it off your sexts unless irony is a part of your flirting technique.

And if you’re talking about a willy, don’t be afraid to just type ‘dick’ or ‘cock’. Not only is it way sexier than ‘I want to suck your *aubergine emoji*’, but it also shows confidence – A universally attractive trait.

2. Timing Is Crucial

Timing is important if your sextee (person receiving your sexts) is at work or a family event. Yes, the whole ‘surprise sext’ can be hot, but you don’t want to embarrass them in front of their regional manager or inadvertently crash a catch-up with their BFF.

So, do test the water before you send a NSFW text. Start by writing ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night…’, for example. If they respond with something flirty, consider it a green light for dirty talk!

Or, if you’re in a committed sextship (sexting relationship), do mutually decide on a code word for checking when it’s appropriate. Perhaps agree on something mundane or silly like “Do you want fish and chips?”. It may not be the right time for dirty chat, but it’ll make them chuckle and call to mind your recent hot sexts. This might inspire a quick-fire sesh’ as soon as they’re available – Or a round of battered cod from the chippy. Either way, win-win.

Don’t start something you can’t finish. There’s a huge difference between being a tease and putting your sexting buddy off.

If you send a dirty text and then leave them turned on while you go and do your weekly food shop, they’ll be bored and frustrated by the time you finally reply – Stay focussed!

Don’t switch from expressing how horny you are to discussing the latest office drama. Keep your head in the game, fire thumbs! 😉

You’ve really got to be in it to win it with sexting, so pick your timing carefully and then commit to the dirty talk for unbeatable wanker-tainment.

3. Find The Perfect Angle

First, always tread carefully with nudes (that is if you’d even like to send one). Know and trust your audience, and be certain that they definitely want to see you in all your glory.

Plus, before sending NSFW photos or videos, you’ll need to get real with the consideration that your most fire submissions will likely be saved to a convenient wank bank folder on their phone. And that’s your decision to weigh up, boo.

If you want to give them a jaw-dropping visual to enjoy, but don’t like the idea of sending a traditional nude (tits, vag, cock and ass), try focussing on suggestive erogenous zones instead, such as your lips or thighs.

There’s also nothing to stop you from keeping your underwear on! Think of a strip club pole dance vs. a strategically covered burlesque act. Both are hot because sexiness is relative (and not related to cubic inches of nudity), and so how much you reveal is up to you! Sexy lingerie or stud-like undies are universally well received and will spark your sextee’s imagination no end.

But if things are going well and getting really heated (and you’re ready to go there), dare to grab your favourite sex toy for a sexy show n’ tell to blow their mind. Suction dildos are fab because they’re hands-free, so you can focus on getting the right camera angle, or you can use your hands for clitoral stimulation or a full-body caress! Try these fabulous newbies on for size (see below).

And we’re definitely not just talking to the ladies/AFABs here. Male/AMAB pleasure products are on the rise in 2020. And take it from us, receiving a self-taped video of your crush moaning while he pleasures himself with his favourite sex toy is a thing of beauty. It’s time to upgrade from your hand and have a go, guys!

But of course, if you don’t feel like sending a saucy picture or vid’, you should never feel pressured to. So, if they request one and you don’t want to, gently express that you aren’t comfortable with that and continue chatting. And if they pester and make you feel uncomfortable – block/unfollow/CTRL+Alt+Del their ass, periodt.

Sexting Is a Two-Way Street

The key to sexting is in your response. Yes, even if they send you that eye-watering sext so potent that you find yourself having to take a break for some personal time.

Rather than letting them put all the work in and giving the occasional ‘that sounds good’, do react to what they’re saying in equal measure. For instance, tell them how turned on you are and how much you wish they were there with you. Ask them what they’re currently fantasising about; what they want to do to you and, most importantly, tell them what you want to do to them!

Slow and steady wins the race, so tease, flirt and introduce foreplay to your sexting. Sex in RL is so much more than just physical contact. All of our senses are aroused in the heat of the moment; sound, sight, smell and taste all play a key part, so don’t forget to touch on these enriching details when describing your fantasies in text-form – from first tempting touch to body-quaking climax.

Knowledge Is Power

If you’re yet to have RL sex with your sextee, this is your chance to shine – and take notes 😉 Use dirty messaging to subtly coach them on what you like in bed and also to get an idea of what they like. Have they mentioned their favourite sex position or fantasy? Bear those things in mind, and you can always refer to your chat logs for a handy future reminder.

Sexting is an excellent way to break the ice and get to know your crush intimately; to peak their curiosity and initiate their fantasies about how hot you’ll be when (or if) it comes to the real thing.

How do you know each other? Are they someone you’ve met before? Why not tell them how sexy you thought they looked? Not only will it give them an ego boost, but it’ll also let them know you’ve been fantasising about them long before now which is super complimentary/arousing (everyone loves to be desired).

And if you’re in a relationship with the person you’re dirty messaging or you’ve hooked up before, why not play on previous experience? Mention a kinky shared memory to give your text-based tryst a headstart before they get home for the main course 😉

Couples should definitely consider experimenting with the innovative app-controlled We-Vibe Jive for remote stimulation (see below). There are more exciting couple’s pleasure products in the We-Vibe range. Feel the buzz by a long-distance tap of a button. Check the cutting edge sex tech out here to see for yourself.

Reality vs. Fantasy

A sext is not a promise – and that’s part of the fun! Do step outside your comfort zone and pound the send button on that risqué Whatsapp IM. Proactive flirtation is incredible for both the ego and your confidence levels when it’s done in good measure. And remember, sexting is just as much about turning yourself on as the other person, so you should feel excited and aroused by what you’re writing too!

Sexting is all to do with imagination. Remember: they can’t see you so if they ask what you’re wearing and you’re in your old-but-too-comfy-to-throw-away pyjamas, lie.

Have them picture you lying in a skimpy chemise or naked and dripping wet, fresh out of the shower for better effect. These lil’ porky pies are totally absolved by the mental roleplaying at hand. So don’t be a stickler for the truth if it doesn’t fit the fantasy, OK?

Similarly, if they ask what you’re doing, don’t reply “I’m just bored and trying to kill time while I wait for my takeaway to arrive” – even if it’s true! Hell, we don’t condone lying but, for a successful sext, a white lie is sometimes necessary.

While saying all of this, don’t be tempted to overstretch the truth if you plan on taking things face-to-face. Push the boundaries, but don’t claim that you have a 10-inch dick if it’s perfectly average or the ability to do gravity-defying yoga sex poses if there’s no hope of you even touching your toes. You’re looking to climax, not anticlimax – Just saying 😉

Have we missed anything? Let us know your favourite sexting tips by posting a comment below…

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