Pegging Passion: The Role Reversal Fantasy

Whether it’s Scissoring, Cupping, or Pegging – Funny homeware epithets give a name to a few pleasurable pursuits that are anything but domestic! In fact, these long-practised sexual acts are fast becoming household names in our fantasies and our bedrooms.

Sure, your pegging fantasies may seem ‘unorthodox’ at first, but after a little courage, you’ll find yourself eager to ease into them for that very reason. After all, taboo is at the heart of kink!

Flipping the script on restrictive ideas about sex can only be a good thing. And here at Bondara, we aim to empower every customer in the pursuit of their authentic sexual self!


Turning the Tables

Dominatrix, Mistress, Madame… These are labels that refer to a chapter of the BDSM scene called Female Dominance (Femdom), in which the female is the ‘dominant’ partner. Femdoms take pleasure in the BDS (Bondage Discipline Sadism) and leave the M (Masochism) to their male counterparts. A female dominant may engage in a long list of psychological and physical inflictions upon their willing male submissive. Who simultaneously craves erotic gratification from their own pain and humiliation. These debasing acts often include domestic servitude, bondage, ballbusting, face sitting, forced feminisation, foot worship, forced chastity, forced orgasm play, and pegging.

Dominatrix and slave

I Put My Thang Down, Flip It and Reverse It!

It would be fair to link the Femdom kink to the ‘battle of the sexes‘. With traditional depictions of Masculinity as authoritative and conquesting and Feminity idealised as docile and soft. That’s not to say that female subs can’t be feminist. Hell, the author identifies as such but there’s nothing stopping them occasionally relinquishing control in the bedroom! It’s all role-playing at the end of the day.

ballgag passion

On the flip side, Feminine Domination indulges in a psychologically-charged play to derive pleasure from subverting old-timey notions of gender. Seeing your dominant lover from a vulnerable POV can be an invigorating experience. Smashing norms and creating new rules is the main event when it comes to kink. And Role Reversal play is no exception.

What a thrill it is the seize control and become the “giver” of pleasure! To take a small holiday from your everyday responsibilities and indulge in pent-up fantasies of domination and worship. To become your very own Daddy!


Dress Up and ‘Fess Up!

You can look, but you can't touch

And so, your bedroom becomes the launchpad for these eye-watering ideas. You start to fill your wardrobe with the aesthetic hardware of your kinky clan. A playbox stuffed with whips, chains, ropes, and cuffs signifies a dipped toe into the vastness of the BDSM universe.

But before this make-believe is turned real, you may wonder whether your partner would ever submit to such dirty desires. But there is only one way to find out! Communication (and consent) is the bedrock of BDSM (and sex in general). So, let him try your ideas on for size – You might be surprised by the response you get…


It Works Both Ways

Sure, there are anxieties that straight men might have about being the “receiver” of some good dick. But, just as it might be a woman’s fetish to jump into the driving seat, it’s just as likely for a man to eagerly hand over the keys. After all, a strong sexual relationship is based on a trifecta of fundamentals. Give and take, good communication, and a healthy degree of erotic curiosity. Do they imagine an intimate, romantic pegging session, or do they want to be dominated and humiliated? There’s a lot to talk about and the conversation tends to have a lubricating effect for both parties.

You'll do anything to please me

Now you’ve popped the scary question, you may be surprised to find that he’s flattered to feel so desired! A proactive approach might be the esteem booster that he never realised he needed. Perhaps he never imagined that your already great sex could become any hotter, and with such a kinky twist! Deep down, your man loves to be lavished with attention; to lay back and let you demonstrate how much you crave him. Relinquish all control. Subvert the expectation of being the “giver”.

So, let Bondara give you a stiff poke in the alternative direction of some sweet, sweet strap-on action. You never know, your lover may reward you for your bravery!


Pegging: A Beginner’s Guide

What you’ll need:

Preparation is Key

Get strapped in

Try on your harness prior to the event to make sure you have it adjusted properly. Wear your strap alone around the house to get used to the feeling of having a dick between your legs. Try thrusting in front of a mirror or into the sofa cushions, but try not to laugh! It may seem unnatural at first, but familiarizing yourself with the thrusting motions and pegging accoutrements will take you far.

Does your guy worry about the poop issue? Introduce his bottom to the wonderment of enemas to enjoy clean, confident and hygienic anal play. Also, let’s be frank, butts are where poop comes from and there’s no avoiding that. So, we can’t be too careful as a prospective pegger so have your PPE at the ready! There will always be a lubey smear of sorts with butt sex. But, if you both want reassurance, try a waterproof bed sheet. The PVC Flat Bed Sheet by Bondara is perfect for protecting your bedroom from all the debauchery!


Mouth to Ass

If candles are your thing, then get burnin’. Do you need some dutch courage? Dim the lights to set the scene. If they are nervous, perhaps they’d appreciate the visual deprivation of a blindfold.

Essentials Anal Relax Lubricant by Bondara

Your partner has responded positively to your pegging proposal, but he may be apprehensive if he hasn’t received anal before. Pacify his nerves by introducing the delighting sensations of anilingus during foreplay. If he’s potentially down for pegging, it’s only fair that you’re down for rimming! The warm, wet sensations of your mouth on his butthole can potentially revolutionise how you guys have sex. Besides, it’s in your best interests to acquaint him with the ultra-orgasmic sensations of anal play.

If you’re squeamish about mouth-to-ass, a gentle ass fingering with cut nails and LOTS of lube will do the trick. And we’re not saying that it’s necessary, but you may prefer a gloved finger for probin’. Plus, it provides an extra smooth glide for your guy.

WARNING: Gentle is the operative word here! The anus is an incredibly sensitive spot so we suggest using the Essentials Anal Relax Lube by Bondara. It contains a gentle numbing agent for superior comfort and ease.


The Main Event

Doggy style pegging

Now, he’s very lubricated and relaxed, fold him on all fours into the doggy-style position. Drizzle a little extra lube over your dildo for his comfort. Now, getting the dildo lined up in the “right” spot and angle takes a bit of practice. Take your lubed hand, probe his butthole, then directly take hold of the dildo and help hold the tip of the dildo as you push your hips into them. Slowly, and patiently, push the dildo into your lover’s butt.

WARNING: You have zero sensation in your fake penis! This can make it hard to judge what’s happening. Your initial instinct will be to slide all the way in and get comfortable. But that can be super scary for your receiver – and possibly painful, so go in slowly and well-controlled. Do not rest your weight into the dildo! Controlled movement is key and this involves some serious core muscle control. Your abs will thank you.

A Stab in the Dark

There’s a thin line between “pleasurable stretching” and “painful stretching”, especially at the beginning of anal penetration. Someone who has never done anal might not be able to tell you the difference, so keep checking in! And be prepared to stop and possibly pull out if your partner shows any discomfort. But, if all’s going well in the early stages then be careful not to slip out – His tuppence won’t likely let you back in! The anal sphincter is a stubborn little ring of muscle and it wants what it wants, or not.

Pegging pegs

Reach around and stroke their cock. This will help things along, and a firm erection is a good sign that they are truly into it. The prostate is a man’s equivalent to your G-spot. It’s a walnut-sized gland that resides approximately two inches inside their anus, at a 6 o’clock position. The right angle will send him into fits of gasping euphoria as your cock glides across it. Some dildos feature a downward curve for P-spot stimulation which is perfect for pegging! Try the Bondara Silicone Curved Dildo with 5″ or 7″ lengths for serious prostate stimulation.

The Money Shot

When he is nearing climax, his ass will tighten around your shaft. Be dynamic and attentive, reading his body language as he approaches plateau. Slow your thrusts and maintain a deep position as you feel his cock throb and start to contract. Hold fire once he starts to cum and watch the show as an earth-shattering climax radiates throughout his entire body! Sweet relief! Once he is satisfied, ask him whether he is ready for you to finish. He will have become immediately sensitised from the orgasmic contractions, so pull out slowly and gently.


Clean Up on Aisle Five

If all went to plan, he’ll be delirious from all the action. But, make sure he is uncomfortable before anything else. You can expect some mess on the tip of your dildo and on your partner, so reach for the wipes! Once you’re unstrapped, clean your dildo with the Bondara Essentials Antibacterial Sex Toy Cleaner for a complete refresh.

Pegging sockings

A post-game analysis is super important following such a step into the unknown. And returning to the act is entirely dependent on his enjoyment. So lay back and take stock, together. If he’s grateful, he may ask to pleasure you. Heaven knows, a Mistress needs her kicks!

12 comments
  1. Thomas
    Thomas
    April 18, 2020 at 11:28 am

    This is really well written with brilliant instructions and explanations! Well done

    Reply
  2. Sophie
    Sophie
    April 18, 2020 at 11:51 am

    Thank you, this is something that sounds exciting but scary. Your pointers are very very helpful! The writing takes away some of the fear and makes pegging seem much more accessible.

    Reply
  3. Gee
    Gee
    April 23, 2020 at 12:22 pm

    My wife’s been pegging me for years now. I enjoy it, she loves it and will always come.
    Lots of lube, the good thick stuff is the secret!

    Reply
  4. Laura
    Laura
    May 11, 2020 at 8:14 pm

    I always feel duped, as a lesbian, when I go to read about straps ons and it’s in the context of pegging! Wasted on me.

    Reply
    • Hanna Wiggins
      Hanna Wiggins
      May 12, 2020 at 9:19 am

      Hi Laura. Your feedback is appreciated and taken on board! Watch this space.

      Reply
  5. Peter
    Peter
    February 21, 2021 at 10:31 am

    Really good article and something I am going to share with my wife. She already is well aware of my enjoyment of anything anal but we haven’t tried pegging since the very early days of our relationship so this well written piece wil be a nice little nudge

    Thankyou

    Reply
  6. Laura
    Laura
    June 18, 2022 at 10:42 am

    I really enjoyed reading this! The tips and positioning/ holding a deep thrust when he’s close to climax, informative at most. Makes me want to get my kit out!

    Thank you

    Reply
  7. Nate
    Nate
    February 16, 2024 at 8:06 pm

    My wife wants to try pegging,what’s the best position to try.

    Reply
    • Larissa Patience
      Larissa Patience
      February 19, 2024 at 9:28 am

      A great place to start is in a ‘Doggy’ style position as this will open you up and allow for slow movement! We have recently done a podcast episode about pegging so check out Inapproriate Thoughts on Spotify for an indepth beginner friendly guide – Larissa 🙂

      Reply
      • Nate
        Nate
        February 23, 2024 at 10:32 pm

        Do women find this a turn on,

        Reply
        • Larissa Patience
          Larissa Patience
          February 26, 2024 at 8:27 am

          It’s worth asking your partner what they like when you discuss Pegging with them. Communication is the key to great sex! – Larissa 🙂

          Reply
          • Nate
            Nate
            February 28, 2024 at 1:13 pm

            My partner wants me to taste myself as she says the idea turns her on.I lose the urge once I come

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