Stretching Fetish: Heaven on Girth

Historically the reserve of extreme pornography, the stretching/fisting fetish is on the rise (Pornhub, 2019 Year In Review).

Thanks to mainstreaming of porn and the sex-positive movement, the intimately related fetishes of stretching and fisting are beginning to shed their bad reputation. Yes, it’s fair to say that we’re taking a more stretch–positive approach…

And sure, contemplating an entire fist inside your vagina or rectum could seem like a painful experience. But you shouldn’t knock it until you’ve tried it! This hardcore bodily play involves practice, patience and intense levels of trust that lead to incredible intimacy, and out-of-this-world orgasms!

So, knuckle down as we contextualise these advanced acts with tips and tricks for a safe and satisfying stretch…

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Stretching Specifics

The act of stretching involves gradually widening a person’s anus or vagina with fingers, sex toys or other suitable objects.

It is often a precursor to fisting, as one will need to widen the orifice until it can accommodate an entire fist. Extreme stretching may even exceed fisting and progress to using huge dildos or even double fisting!

Truth be told, it’s a lot easier to stretch a person’s ass than you can stretch out their vagina. Sure, a woman can squeeze a baby’s head out of her noony, but the birth process involves hip dislocation and vaginal/perineal tearing – not something you’d want in the bedroom! The anus, on the other hand, with enough time and proper technique, can get pretty wide. But we know you can handle it 😉

At Bondara, the girthiest toy on our shelves is a BIG dildo named The Original Girthy Monster. Cast in high-shine phthalate-free PVC with an eye-watering circumference of 10.5 inches, this extra thick dildo might be right up your street. We have a whole host of mind-blowing Monsters to explore!

Stretching Sex-ercise

Keep in mind that there is a naturally higher risk of things going south when stretching butts as opposed to vaginas. Yes, ‘rosebud’ may be a searchable term on your favourite smut site, but IRL, it can be alarming …Unless you’re into that.

Realistically though, prolapse is a common health problem in women who don’t stretch, especially after childbirth. However, the stretching community strongly considers exercises with Kegel balls the best practice to keep you springing back into shape! And even if you don’t intend to stretch, Kegels will give you control of your orgasms and fortify your fanny down the line.

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Sadomasochism & Stretching

Someone with a stretching fetish will usually have a preference for stretching one hole over the other. A chap with a particular interest in anal stretching had this to say;

“Fisting, or stretching, is dirty; it’s taboo. So, stretching someone’s ass is even dirtier and more taboo. Anal fisting is also a lot more extreme. Most women have no problem taking four fingers in their pussy, whereas four fingers in the ass feels a lot more intense!”

Anon then goes on to describe how stretching and fisting have Dom(me)/submissive elements too, and that fisting can be very much a part of a BDSM relationship;

“It has to be more than just domination and submission though… For a couple to do stretching successfully there has to some degree of sadomasochism. The giver has to be a bit of a sadist and the receiver has to be somewhat of a masochist.”

Stretching can also bring an element of medical fetishism into play, as one partner may enjoy inserting a speculum into the pussy or anus of their sub. This medical examination roleplay then involves widening the speculum to spread the sub’s vagina or anus for closer inspection! Who said a trip to the gyno can’t be fun?

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A Stretch-pert’s Guide

Commonly for the BDSM community, kinkster’s favourite fetishes become somewhat of a personal pastime. And just like bondage ball stretching or nipple stretching (pumps and weighted clamps), the goal-oriented project of growing your hole is just the same!

Reddit user u/sheilastretch answers a boyfriend’s urgent plea for advice regarding his girlfriend’s favourite new fetish. In response to concerns about his girlfriend’s daily use of adding pencils to her pussy for a graduated stretch; this is what Sheila had to say:

A blow-up dildo would be safer for incremental expansion than writing/art supplies. It’s also a lot cheaper to get a blow-up toy than constantly outgrowing smaller dildos. We like to play a game we call ‘let’s see how much we can fit in me‘ which usually involves all my smaller dildos and vibrators, fingers, cocks, ben-wa balls, Fleshlight inserts and cock sleeves. It’s pretty fun, and with all the possible combinations, and it’s still as fun as when we first started!

A popular stretching method for anal stretching is to use an anal training kit. With this method, you simply insert the smallest toy and when that toy feels comfortable and the muscles have relaxed enough to fully accept it, you remove the toy and insert a slightly bigger one. Repeat this process until your partner is able to take the biggest toy in your collection for a jaw-dropping experience!

Indeed, ‘gaping’ is a popular thread of the fetish as Sheila goes on to explain RE: her favourite hole:

Being stretched out at rest is one of the reasons I love stretching. We like seeing up inside me and seeing how much looser I feel during sex! Vaginas are super elastic though, so if you ever stop or take a break, she’ll tighten up quite quickly.

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Basic Stretch-iquette

So, now you’ve got the jist, how do you start to stretch/fist?’ Here are the ground rules:

1. An obvious necessity for anal and vaginal stretching/fisting is LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE. You can’t go wrong with a water-based formula and bondage accessories like a PVC sheet to protect your bedding from all the juicy fun!
2. Grab the clippers and file because you’re going to want to trim those nails all the way back and be careful to file away any sharp edges.
3. Check your hands for cuts and abrasions to avoid infection. If in any doubt, grab some surgical gloves to reduce any risk of transmission, while aiding insertion.
4. Remove ANY jewellery – you don’t want to lose your watch where the sun doesn’t shine!
5. If you’re looking to stretch out your partner’s ass hole, it is highly advisable that they douche first to avoid any messy situations.
6. And remember, slow and steady wins the race so never go ham right away. You’ll want to feel relaxed and mindful of your body, so indulge in lots of foreplay, communication, and avoid ‘relaxing’ lubes – Even for anal stretching. The stretchee must always dictate the pace, so you’ll want to avoid numbing agents that prevent painful warnings signs that things are going too fast.

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Fisting for Beginners

Now for the main event. With enough lubrication, insert one finger, then two. Next, if they tell you that they’re comfortable and their orifice is relaxed enough and widening nicely, insert and the third finger, then a fourth.

The next stage is called ‘the goose‘ which involves you tucking your thumb into your palm (thus making your hand and arm look kind of like a goose’s head and neck), then inserting your fingers deeper.

In order to reach the next stage – fisting – you must be able to get your hand in past the knuckles. If their vagina or anus is stretched enough and you’re able to slide your hand in, you can now slowly begin to curl your fingers down into a fist formation. Et voila!

And now, if you’re the fister rather than the fistee then your exit should be as slowwww as your entry. Make your hand as small as possible and remove a finger at a time as you retract from your partner. Don’t just pull your hand straight out – even if they ask you to stop! Always take your time to carefully remove your hand and fingers.

Congratulations, you just experienced your first fisting! How was it? Do tell! 😉

Double Up

If you want to take this stretching session to further extremes you can begin to add the fingers from your other hand and gradually work up to double fisting. Another variation of double-fisting would be to have one fist in each of their holes. First stretch out one hole, then the other. This will create an unbeatable feeling of fullness.

Lesbian couples or women/AFAB’s fisting themselves will generally find this easier to do as women/AFAB’s tend to have conveniently smaller hands. Bonus!

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A Final Word

Most importantly, this act may be a little uncomfortable and unusual feeling at first but, when done properly, it should never ever hurt. So, if it does, STOP IMMEDIATELY!

And again, don’t wrench your fingers out quickly, slowly retract them to avoid catching their skin or causing pain to the restricting muscles of the anus or vagina.

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So, play safe, have fun, and leave your comments below…