Wanking At Work: Clock In & Cum!

Slapped with a virtual sex ban for over a year, solo home workers succumbed to the perfect storm for procrasturbation during the lockdown. While Working From Home, employees indulged in wanking, sexting, and even shagging on company time! But, since we returned to the office, has this put a stop to cumming on the clock?

With a hand-picked hotlist of discreet sex toys for your work break high, we explore the benefits of workplace wanking and ask ourselves, “would I take a masturbation break at work for extra productivity and focus?”

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Wanking on the Clock

The adage goes, ‘Boss makes a dollar – I make a dime…’ But is that why we’re wanking on company time? The real answer appears to be more functional than just sticking it to the man.

Whether working from home, on-site or in the office, our work lives can be hectic. And around 17.5 million workdays are lost in the UK each year to work-related stress, anxiety and depression (LFS, 2019/20).

But with a handy mood booster at our disposal, we can whip it out when the going gets tough! And according to studies, around 39% of your workforce are already doing it. But is it #WorkGoals or just plain weird?

But a better mood isn’t the only benefit of wanking at work. For the highly sexed, on-the-clock masturbation tunes up an otherwise distracted mind and enhances productivity with sharper mental clarity and focus. A sex therapist explains;

Men and women think about sex frequently, and those thoughts do not stop simply because they are at work. When the sexual drive is very high, masturbation to orgasm is likely to reduce sexual distractions during the rest of the day. If a person feels especially distracted by sexual thoughts at work, it is very reasonable to use masturbation to reduce these distractions.

N Prause PhD

It’s a win-win! And, let’s face it, An at-work orgasm is more economical than quivering at your monthly Costa bill. So, is masturbation the new workplace escapism? First, let’s break down the science…

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Motivations for Masturbation

There are motivations other than pleasure and orgasms for a workplace wank. Masturbation feels great because it triggers hormones and chemicals in the brain’s pleasure-reward centre:

The Happy Hormone:

Dopamine is an important neurotransmitter for motivation, movement, and reward-seeking – pretty crucial aspects of your workday if you ask us!

The Endorphin Rush:

Feeling the burn at work? These feel-good chemicals reduce pain even better than morphine. But they are also responsible for the pleasurable rush or high you feel after exercising. So, get that glow with an O! 😉

The Love Hormone:

Oxytocin boasts a huge range of behavioural and physiological benefits. It supports well-being, growth, and healing – it even promotes harmonious interpersonal relations around the office! Where might the extra kudos get you?!

The Mood Booster

Serotonin is a mood-boosting neurotransmitter that mediates happiness, optimism, and satisfaction – three all-important things workers universally yearn for. Well, it cums from you!

The Stress Buster:

Enjoy smoother days with a dose of this heavy-lifting hormone that promotes stress management and emotional regulation. I think we could all definitely do without the internal meltdowns over deadlines or that seminar you’re scheduled to give.

The Brain Booster:

Endocannabinoids boost learning, memory, metabolism and cardiovascular function while soothing anxiety and depression! They also reward behaviours such as exercise, social interaction – and eating. So, go take ten minutes from your desk; have a gossip with your work bestie and get that meal deal down ya!

The Stimulator:

Burning the candle at both ends but need a little energy to get through Monday? This stimulating hormone cuts stress by regulating heart rate, blood pressure, blood oxygen levels, and metabolism, So you’re ready to smash that spreadsheet – minus the 10:30 am tummy grumbles or stress!

So there you have it. Not only does sneaking off for some self-love help us to decompress, but wanking also boosts our physical and mental well-being. It supercharges our self-esteem and sharpens mental clarity for a more productive, happier workday! So say it with me: Goodbye, imposter syndrome! Hello, new promotion!

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Don’t Get Fired!

Sure, Bondara is a very accepting, sex-positive working environment! But wherever your day job is, there are important factors to consider before making a beeline to the nearest restroom.

Wanking breaks could well optimise our daily working lives, but we certainly don’t want to get into trouble with our co-workers – or worse! So, here are some pointers for a fap-friendly tea break:

Clean-Up After Yourself:

Not to put too fine a point on it, but you remember the rhyme: “if you sprinkle when you tinkle be sweet and wipe the seat?”. Well, the same rule very much applies to wanking, if not more crucially. Most people would be aghast to find a colleague’s cum or squirt in a shared area! So, bring wet wipes if you have to and take aim for a convenient and spotless clean up.

Keep it Secret:

Always make sure you have privacy! You want to avoid colleagues overhearing your foot-trembling moans of pleasure at all costs. A prudish colleague might feel very awkward about discovering you rubbing one out from behind a toilet door. But the worst-case scenario could be a disciplinary – not fun or sexy!

If the fear of being caught scares you then it’s best to keep it at home. But if you feel you have the conditions for a swift shuffle, the fundamental factor here is discretion.

Carefully Choose Your Environment:

Some have unlimited access to an expansive executive loo or a sumptuous office en-suite. But could you stay turned on for long enough in a grungy loo cubicle to see your shuffle to completion?

You might be frisky, but don’t be risky! We’ve all heard stories of the security guy or an overtime worker getting caught out in plain view or on CCTV. So, no excuses, night shifters… If the opportunity arises, always get it out of your system behind closed doors to spare any blushes!

Don’t Overdo It!:

A Time Out survey has revealed that both men and women masturbate at work. One participant admitted to wanking three times in a single workday! Now, that’s impressive.

But do be mindful of your work/wank ratio. You don’t want to alert the boss with your all-too-frequent trips to the loo or expend all that energy instead of smashing that urgent deadline!

Indeed, the energy-inducing benefits of masturbation exist on a sliding scale – so don’t overdo it, or you’ll be napping at your desk. ZZzzz.

Use the Right Tools for the Job:

Lucky for you, you’ve in the right place for neat, discreet solutions to get you there. From covert bullet vibrators to stealthy men’s masturbators and whisper-quiet sex toys too. There is an amazing range of discreet and deliciously orgasmic designs for you to discover at Bondara.co.uk!

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What is your experience with workplace wanking? Do you love it, hate it, or haven’t tried it?

We’d love to hear your stories and opinions, so comment down below and have an ORGASMIC Masturbation Month!