Never leave sex out of your New Year’s resolutions! Don’t just do it more, but do it better with the help of some kegels and hip-friendly flexing.
Read on to learn how a jiggle ball can help you tone up and tickle your fancy, as well as hip-strengthening stretches to keep your sex life sparkling.
What are Kegels?
Kegels are small ‘clench and release’ exercises that help keep your pelvic floor strong. This band of muscles runs along your pelvis like a sling, supporting your organs. It’s a bit like a beam holding the ceiling up!
To learn how to locate your pelvic floor muscles, check out our interview with Michelle Jermy about Pelvic Floor Conditioning. A basic way to find them is to attempt to pause peeing mid-flow without clenching your bum, tummy, or thighs. However, this should be purely used for finding the muscles, as repeatedly interrupting urination can lead to UTIs.
And no, it’s not about having a ‘tight’ vagina, as if it gets loose like a pair of old stockings. Performing Kegels during sex allows a woman to clench around her partner. This practice is called ‘pompoir’, or by the slightly more crass name ‘Singapore grip‘.
Okay, but why?
Having better control over these muscles can also lead to greater sex. Women who regularly perform Kegels report more frequent orgasms and better lubrication after menopause, while men find they can reduce premature ejaculation and likewise intensify their erections.
Once you’re familiar with Kegels, you can do them anywhere at any time!
Eggs, Balls, Ben Wa- What?
Just like weight at the gym, your pelvic floor has exercise equipment too! First, there are Ben Wa Balls and Jiggle Balls, both are a kind of ‘love ball’. Ben Wa balls are solid, weighted balls that sit inside the vagina to work your pelvic floor. They can be singular, a pair, or, like the Bondara Fab Four, can be several strung together.
Jiggle balls are similar, except their weights are free-roaming and create a knocking or jiggling sensation as you move. Not only is it an intimate workout, but it gently stimulates you throughout wearing.
Love Eggs are aimed more towards pleasure and are a favourite of couples that want to get kinky in public. They are similar shaped to Ben Wa balls, but have a vibrating core rather than a weight.
They’re often remote-controlled, too. Even so, they can still be used for Kegel. Giving yourself a quick buzz is a fun way to positively reinforce your workout, or provide a greater challenge if they have moving functions like the Bondara Rocker.
Kegels for Men
It’s a little trickier for the lads, as there are no specific Kegel toys for you (yet). However, sex educator Ken Melvoin-Berg offers an alternative approach. Drape a small flannel over your erect penis, and squeeze your Kegels to see if you can make the cloth ‘jump’ or ‘dance’. A cock ring might be handy if you find it hard to maintain an erection without sexual stimulation. Later, you can add resistance by wetting the cloth.
Kegel With Caution
It is possible to overdo Kegel exercises. Using too much force or excessively working your pelvic floor can cause muscles to over-tighten. This can lead to, or exacerbate, problems like pain during sex or incontinence. If you have such symptoms, it’s best to consult your doctor before adding Kegels to your daily routine, just to make sure you don’t make anything worse and rule out anything more nefarious.
Remember – slow and steady movements are best, and when you contract your pelvic floor, the muscles in your abdomen, back, bum, and sides should remain loose and relaxed.
Hip Hip Hooray
Stating the obvious here, but your hips are awfully important when it comes to sex. Whether you desire better control when you’re on top or want to stretch wider for deeper penetration, strengthening your hips is the way to go.
Below, I’ll describe two basic stretches you can do to help your hips. Plus, do them while wearing your Ben Wa balls, and you get two workouts for the effort of one!
But first, there’s no shame in getting help. As counterintuitive as it might seem, Bondage Restraints can be used. Not only are they sexually adventurous, but they take the weight and strain off your hips, too! The same applies to the Bondara Anti Gravity Sex Chair if you prefer to ride.
Leg Pendulum
You might remember this from PE! This simple stretch will loosen up your hips and make any sex position easier.
Stand with your feet hip-width apart, then with your weight on one leg, swing the other back and further several times, or side to side, then switch legs. Easy!
Pigeon Pose
You can start in a ‘plank position’ (the position for a press-up) and tuck one knee under your hip with the other kept straight. Or, try kneeling and moving one leg as though you’re going to sit with your legs crossed, then extend the other leg out behind you.
Keep your spine straight, using your hands to steady you, and rest there for 3-5 minutes, or as long as you can, before switching sides. This position can also be modified as you get stronger, like curling your back leg or raising your hands.
