In this part of our Masturbation Month series, you’re invited to take a peek at the topic of Mutual Masturbation.
A rewarding way to educate your lover for even better orgasms, our top tips for couples and poly partners will enhance your sensual synchronicity because sharing is caring.
Packed with 12 tips for sex-cess, heighten your horn, let off steam and cum together for greater intimacy in your relationship…
Masturbation Nation
According to a global 2019 survey by the sexual wellness folk at TENGA, 84% of Brits aged 18-54 masturbate while in a relationship. However, despite this staggering majority, four in five still conceal the occasional self-service from their partners (TENGA, 2019), with only 59% believing that their partner is aware of their masturbation.
Half of paired-off Brits already enjoy masturbating together as a rewarding bolt-on to their regularly scheduled programmes. But if our maths is correct, 50% of you still aren’t turned on to the idea. So, we’re here to give you a rub in the right direction!
You needn’t hide masturbation from your significant other when you both recognise the pleasure possibilities and intimacy opportunities ahead! When we do open up, an overwhelming majority of us find the conversation rather stimulating…
Sharing (Your Masturbation Technique) is Caring
Masturbation is typically considered a one-person show, so ‘mutual masturbation’ can sound like a contradiction in terms, but it has a few meanings:
- The common practice of stimulating your partner while they simultaneously stimulate your sexy parts.
- Two or more people pleasuring their bodies while together in the same place (real life or via online video).
– we’ll be sticking to the second definition for this post!
Mutual masturbation can be immensely arousing and educational when approached with an open mind. Rich with lessons about what turns you and your partner(s) on, autoerotic shows are a great way to learn and explore each other’s intimate worlds. So, here are some hot ‘n’ heavy pros to the hands-off approach…
1. Show A Deeper Side of Yourself
Opening up to your lover(s) about self-pleasure and self-discovery is an excellent opportunity to boost the intimacy of your partnership. Plus, the lubricating effect of sharing naughty stories is sure to whet your appetites for what’s the come.
Break the ice by sharing masturbation stories. Like how you first learned how to masturbate, how often you like it, and the weirdest place you’ve done it. Talking about wanking is the perfect way to gauge each other’s comfort level. It makes for a fascinating learning experience that boosts intimacy and sets a saucy tone for self-love!
2. Discover What Works for Them
Find out what type of touch, mindset and settings work for your partner when pursuing pleasure and reaching manual climax. Watching them strum along to their favourite tune gives you invaluable insight on technique, and a peek into their fantasies. This insight can open up your sex life to a new world of fantasy scenarios!
3. Set A Game Plan
To avoid awkwardness, decide upon the state of play before the event. Are you taking turns or doing the do simultaneously? Is it a frisky race to the finish line or a long, luscious lesson for the two of you? Deciding how it will go down beforehand cements a common goal and takes the pressure off during play – because second-guessing isn’t sexy.
There’s no shame in having ‘privacy’ during the first few rounds if you’re feeling shy. Soothe performance anxiety by using a blindfold to recreate the feeling of being alone when mutually masturbating for an increased sense of ease.
Alternatively, take things less seriously by adding a sporting dimension to play. Strum slowly in sync or race to see who’s the climax champion for a quick and memorable mutual sesh’!
4. Empower Your Lover
Show them exactly what sensations get you off you when playing solo. Whether that’s G-spot pleasure from a favourite sex toy, grinding blissfully against a Vibepad, or the intense shaft and head stimulation of a men’s masturbator. This simple act can be revolutionary for your sex life when your partner understands exactly where and how to stimulate your sweet spots!
5. Voyeur or Exhibitionist?
Are you a looker or a show-er? Let yourself become the centre of attention or focus solely on your partner(s) enjoyment. Mutual Masturbation brings an exhibitionist/voyeur’s dynamic to sexual pleasure that can be exceptionally hot! Being privy to the dirty talk, grunts, and moans of your boo as they rock their own world is a sure-fire way to get you hot and bothered.
6. Shake Up Your Routine
Switch up tired sexual routines with a new style of ‘main event’ that still satisfies the hungriest of appetites. Mutual masturbation allows for orgasmic non-penetrative sex if that’s your mood. Plus, it’s a perfect main course option when you’re short on time, but both want to climax – nobody knows how to make you cum quicker than yourself!
Indeed, mutual masturbation can also be lined-up as a pretty tasty way to kick things off too. The sexual energy generated can prolong the excitement and enhance your connection as you move on to the next delicious course!
7. Mind the Gap!
It’s only natural to have a different sex drive from your partner, but you can bridge the gap with shared solo pleasure. Mutual masturbation provides sexual relief despite the very common way that you or your partner might not always be ‘up for it’ at the same time. Mutual masturbation is an affectionate and convenient way to introduce extra excitement into your relationship without feeling pressured to penetrate/be penetrated or orgasm when you don’t want to.
Even when you’re not in the mood to orgasm, feeling oh-so desired as you excite your horny partner with a sexy show can make you feel fabulous while it provides them with the gratification they’ve been craving!
8. Change the Scenery
Try masturbating together on various pieces of furniture for a different dimension to play. If you’re always in bed, try it on the sofa, in the shower, or sprawled out on the floor! The novelty of new sensations and positions can spark different fantasy scenarios and reveal an even sexier vantage of your partner’s body – phwoar!
9. Try Phone / Video Sex First
Before getting down face-to-face, try phone and video sex to boost your confidence. If you’re a talker, voicing your deepest desires over the telephone line might be the one for you. And would-be exhibitionists can warm up with raunchy video calls to their lover to familiarise themselves with the sexy scenario beforehand.
Online sex is still mutual masturbation – just at a distance! But be sure there’s a decent signal before wacking one off via the internet. Poor resolution and dropped calls can be a huge anticlimax!
10. Safety is Sexy
Mutual masturbation has very little risk of STI transmission due to the lack of contact. But if you’re contending with a sexual infection in your ‘ship and want to share a toy, be sure to use and replace condoms before passing the torch.
11. Tired of ‘No Contact’?
There’s no rule to say that you can’t reach for your lover in the heat of the moment (with consent, of course). After all, mutual masturbation is a double entendre that describes exactly that! This might include focusing on another part of their body while they satisfy themselves.
Ever heard of the tit wank or the thigh hump? You can use parts of each other for your own pleasure. Besides, you can always cheer them on to the finish line or jump smack bang into the middle of the action – the pleasure possibilities are endless!
12. Don’t Pressure Yourself!
Don’t worry about reaching orgasm. We repeat: DO NOT WORRY! Orgasms are the cherry on top of that perfectly glazed bun and not the be-all and end-all. Performance pressure will kill your vibe and get you in your head when you should be in your body.
To avoid losing your cool in the heat of the moment, centre yourself with some erotic mindfulness by focusing on the various sensations of your pleasure. Or, just take pause, breathe, and enjoy the thrills and spills of the super-sexy show that your partner is sharing with you. It could be worse, huh?
Remember, your only responsibility is to explore and satisfy yourself in this scenario. So, chill out and go with the solo flow!
Mick
May 1, 2021 at 12:27 pmMe and my partner regularly mutual masterbate nothing more erotic than watching her cum loud and hard. We have developed our technique to cum at same time truly amazing orgasms