Dating Older Women

Without using Google, can you define anililagnia? We’re even struggling to pronounce it, yet it’s more common than ever. Used to describe a fetish of younger men towards older women, the old adage that ‘age is just a number’ is becoming increasingly popular.

The sinister, prey-like label of a ‘cougar’ looking for her ‘cub’ has given such relationships a bad reputation. With a 23 year gap between them, actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson was just 19 when he met his film-maker wife Sam Johnson. Despite an onslaught of negative press, they’ve now been together for seven years – so clearly something’s working!

Sam Taylor-Johnson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson

But why are more and more men dating older women? Physically, dermatological advances, lotions and potions are helping women to maintain their youthful look. On top of this, social change has led many women to focus on building a career before settling down. If and when a family is on the cards, an age gap is more probable than it would have been a few decades ago. In turn, younger men have more opportunities to date older women (lucky them!).

It Gets Better with Age

With more years on her younger equivalents, an older woman is far more established – both in terms of her career and herself. For men with an anililagnia fetish, this can be hugely attractive. With her own interests and hobbies, an older woman knows what she wants and won’t need to rely upon you for her happiness.

By not growing up on social media, she’s less likely to publicly document the ups and downs of your relationship. While this may be more appealing to some than it is to others, it can massively help you avoid any unnecessary drama.

Finally (and we see this as a huge positive!), don’t underestimate those extra years of experience she has. Expect to learn a few tricks in the bedroom by dating older women – and expect to teach her a few too!

Samantha Sex and the City and erection

Baby, Baby, Baby…

The biggest thing to consider when dating older women is children.

If she has children, she may want you to be an active part of their life. On the other hand, she may prefer to wait before you are introduced. Her kids will always be her priority, so you need to be able to handle whichever decision she makes.

If she doesn’t have children, it either means she’s not interested in having them or she hasn’t met the right person (yet!). If it’s the latter, she probably won’t want to wait too long. After all, everyone knows a woman’s window is smaller than a man’s. Either way, it’s vital you’re both on the same page when it comes to kids, so make sure you have the conversation if your relationship is becoming serious.


The perks of dating older women works both ways; there’s definitely some benefits to dating younger men! The extra energy, stamina and the opportunity to ‘show them the ropes’ can be hugely appealing to women.

If you’re lucky enough to date an older woman, prepare for your relationship to cause a few raised eyebrows – not everyone is open to age gaps and you need to be able to ignore them. But, like Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson continue to prove, there’s nothing to say this isn’t the real deal!

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