We spent the day with Madame Caramel, a professional FemDom and BDSM Educator, specialising in Female Domination.
She put us through our paces with a beginner’s BDSM session and answered our burning questions about what it’s like to live the Domme lifestyle.
So, keep reading to learn more about the Nubian Matriarch and her dungeons!
Introducing Madame Caramel
We got the chance to experience first-hand tutoring from the infamous Madame Caramel, a professional FemDom of 19 years. Naturally, with such a wealth of knowledge, we wanted to know why she became a Dominatrix. “I always had this tendency to enjoy dominating, especially men, but I didn’t know the name for it. I just thought I was a little bit of a weirdo because every time I tried something with a boyfriend, they wanted nothing to do with me.“
“After that, I went off and researched, found this beautiful black Mistress, and I thought ‘Oh, this is interesting’. I chased her for months, and finally, I went for an interview with her. She chucked me in her dungeon with a client, and now this is me till today.“
We started with the easy stuff, looking at beginner-friendly rope bondage and the basics of spanking with different impact tools. Experience is everything, according to Madame Caramel; “I wouldn’t say I have a speciality. I come from a background of old-school FemDoms, so we learned how to do a little bit of everything. When I went to a dungeon for the first time, I really had no experience. But, I like to see what the younger Mistress’ get up to now. They’re a little bit more naughty!“
“Consent is everything. Even with 24/7 dynamics. If a sub says no, they say no. The Dom shouldn’t be offended”
Madame Caramel
Learning from a FemDom
Other than doing sessions with subs, Madame Caramel also trains Doms of all levels. “You have to learn these skills like how to tie a knot properly and how to release it. Or, learn the techniques for things like whipping, spanking, and bondage so that it’s done safely.”
It goes further than just safety, although this is deeply important. “Doms, especially new ones, need to learn things like how to receive a client, how to understand what the client is asking for and the psychology of BDSM.“
So, as we got ourselves tangled in the ropes, she walked around correcting us if we went wrong and teaching us how to talk with our partner as we made simple wrist and ankle restraints or even full body harnesses! “It’s good to check as you’re doing rope bondage. Ask, ‘Is this okay? Is it too tight? Can you move your wrists?’ So, keep checking in with your partner.”
Now, while it’s an excellent way to keep your partner in one place, rope bondage, also known as Shibari, is perfect for heightening eroticism in the bedroom. “Rope Bondage is also about intimacy. You can touch them as you tie them. Plus, it can leave marks depending on how tight the rope is. If you can connect with someone on a deeper level when you’re doing something like this… It’s amazing.”
Madame Caramel made sure to ease us in gently with an Impact Play lesson, starting us out with light whipping, using one of her bondage benches for practice. But, if you don’t have a fully decked out dungeon and want to try it at home, “Just practice your aim on a pillow or even a teddy bear“. With 19 years of practising kink under her belt, it’s no wonder she’s a dab hand with her tried and trusted tools. However, don’t worry if you’re starting out; even fully-fledged FemDoms have to learn. Apparently, it took Madame Caramel years to truly master the whip.
“I like to see what the younger Mistress’ get up to now. They’re a little bit more naughty!“
Madame Caramel
Then we met Susie, one of Madame Caramel’s sissies, who has been with her for 15 years, even longer than her fiancé. She does all sorts for Madame Caramel, including washing, and cleaning, although her cooking skills leave something to be desired, apparently! So, once we were introduced, we had a demonstration of the correct spanking technique using paddles, crops and bare hands.
While we watched, Madame Caramel talked about ensuring everyone has fun with a spanking session. “For masochists, people that really love pain, whipping can be so much fun. But before you start an impact session, you must prepare the sub. Do some light spanking and get the blood flow going. Never start too fast, too quickly. Make sure you watch for their reaction and adjust accordingly. Never just go for it, and this applies to any impact play. It can be very erotic when done properly.” Safe to say we’re noting this down for later!
Madame Caramel’s Favourite Toys and Tools
A Session with Madame Caramel: What to Expect!
Madame Caramel has a rigorous process for taking on new subs. With an exhaustive list of the toys on offer when you rent the studio, she also requires potential clients to fill in a form detailing their wants, desires and interests. “I assess if we have things in common because they might be interested in doing things I don’t want to do, and then they pay a deposit to come to the suite. Depending on what they like, I will do a consultation via Zoom; I don’t want people wasting my time! In doing that, we have a connection straight away so when they come to the dungeon; the domination can start at the door.”
Also, it turns out a key bit of kit for a professional FemDom is a pair of bolt cutters! “I’ve had people lose keys to their locks, so I went out a brought bolt cutters! You should always have at least three sets of keys, just in case.”
After almost 20 years in the business, Madame Caramel wants people to understand that BDSM and exploring kink are very healthy. “People think that we’re crazy, that we’re nutters. There is so much communication, much more than vanilla relationships. Susie and I will sit down and talk about play, what we enjoyed, and what could be done differently. It’s about constant communication. It’s a wonderful, beautiful thing; Yes, to kink!”
Interested in renting Madame Caramel’s dungeon? Use code BONDARA for 30% off when you book overnight stays and packages at both the Hackney Wick and Bayswater suites.
