The Day Radio 1 Came

Standing tall at the top of a hill in an unsuspecting market town, Bondara is the community’s naughty little secret. Who would think that amongst the quaint little cafés, winding roads and historic buildings is the home to one of the UK’s largest sex toy companies?

Radio 1 didn’t – but they do now.

On Thursday, 11th April, presenter Arielle Free and three producers descended upon Bondara as part of their #R1atWork week – interesting, for a company that’s truly #NSFW (not safe for work).

Radio 1 is often the soundtrack to our sounding rods, music to our masturbators and background noise to our ball stretchers. When we heard they were looking for workplaces to visit, we decided to write a poem; a nice change to creating mildly pornographic product descriptions and researching X-rated content.

Our tribute to Bondara…

Our place of work is a true factory of fun,
The pleasure it produces is second to none,
Like Santa’s workshop – with an X-rated twist,
Our gadgets and gizmos are not to be missed.
Sex toys, lingerie, bondage and more,
Bondara is special, from when you walk in the door,
A windowsill lined with dildos, standing tall and proud,
You should see for yourself – it’s quite the crowd.
We work hard, of course - it’s a job after all,
Selling sex toys aplenty, the big and the small, 
Endless stories to tell, no day is the same,
‘No job could match this’, we often proclaim.
The issue comes, when you meet someone new,
And they innocently ask: “so, what do you do?”
Well, my friend, it’s slightly taboo…
But I get staff discount – so how can you argue?

Sure enough, it wasn’t long before we received a phone call from Hallmark, desperately begging us to join their writing team.*

*This is not true – but Radio 1’s production team were quick to get in touch.

Throughout the week, we heard Arielle and the team make their way through the country, and then the county. Lucy, one of the producers, had never been to Essex before. We’re quite proud of the impression we left.

Upon arrival, we led them to our meeting room. Decorated with dildos, butt plugs, masturbators and more, the Radio 1 team were more than a little intrigued – with a tinge of shock, perhaps. It’s not every day you’re greeted by a table adorned with sex toys and bondage, let alone two sex dolls sitting unashamedly in the corner. It was the perfect Bondara welcome. Small talk and offers of tea and coffee were quickly overshadowed by discussions of fetishes, watersports and our best-selling lines.

Broadcasted during Scott Mills’ show (famed for Innuendo Bingo), his and co-presenter Chris Stark’s mischievous humour was the perfect match to our “toys of the night”.

Arielle had the problematic task of describing a Fleshlight and a cock cage to the listeners – a game which was quickly named “What’s In Arielle’s Hand?” Unfortunately, daytime radio isn’t conducive with sex toys – particularly during the Easter holidays, when many listeners would have been families innocently driving their children to a fun afternoon out. Therefore, references to slinkys and torches became the new go-to.

Our Radio 1 plaque, given to us as a stamp of approval, now hangs proudly in our office – a lasting reminder of the day our kinky world and the prestigious BBC collided.

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