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FemDom Ball 2018: The Role of the Dominatrix

It’s a night that comes but once a year: the FemDom Ball. This annual event attracts the finest Dominatrices, Mistresses and their loyal submissives from across the world to London, for a night of drinks, entertainment and – of course – a sprinkle of BDSM.

Hosted by Madame Caramel (pictured above by Jonni Black), the FemDom Ball 2018 was the fourth of its kind. Bondara have been sponsors of the ball for two years running, each time being lucky enough to receive a number of the in-demand tickets.

Last year was our first experience of the FemDom Ball. This time, it was new to two out of three of us. I was lucky enough to have gone last year, so had a slightly better idea of what to expect. Even so, if I learnt anything from last year’s FemDom Ball, it is to always expect the unexpected.

There were some similarities: the venue was the same and, as if there were some unspoken dress code, the three of us managed to match in black dresses – all we needed was a pop of Bondara pink and we’d be completely on brand.

Energised by some last-minute room service (because in my eyes, every formal event should be preceded by chips), we hopped into a taxi and off we went!

Photograph by: Joanna Armstrong

It was a night of masked men serving their Mistresses, a fashion show of incredibly beautiful latex dresses, and submissives being spanked, whipped and flogged. We recognised some Mistresses from the previous year – one of whom was particularly disappointed her enthusiastic pitch at last year’s after-party had not caused any of us to become a Dominatrix.

Oddly, whenever I find myself in the presence of these women, I’m left feeling empowered and confident – the memory of watching a submissive’s crotch being whipped fades in comparison. In the words of one, American Dominatrix who paused as she strode past our table: “There’s just so much love in this room tonight. Women supporting women. I love it.”

Photograph by: Jonni Black

The warmth and kindness of the Dominatrices is something I wrote about last year – but what is a Dominatrix?

The Role of a Dominatrix

Simply put, a Dominatrix is a female Dominant. A submissive is someone who wishes to be dominated – verbally, mentally or physically.

Firstly, let’s debunk the myth that Dominatrices are scary or intimidating (unless, of course, that’s what you’re after). Powerful, hugely confident and wearing terrifyingly high heels? Yes – but they’re also some of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet: whip or no whip.

Photograph: Jonni Black

They know what it’s like to be judged. Their hard-working nature and incredible skills (because you don’t want ANYONE swinging a cane near your private parts unless you completely trust them) tends to be undermined with ‘yes, but think about what they do!’ But they love their jobs – and is that not the most important thing?

Being self-employed, Dominatrices have the power to make their own decisions. From their hours, prices and place of work, to the services they offer. There are Dominatrices who specialise in scat, while others consider it a hard limit. Meanwhile, some love public humiliation, yet some keep their sessions strictly behind closed doors.

Likewise, there is no one style or look of Dominatrix. Some are loud and entertaining – for instance, the Dominatrix who desperately wanted a pony, so made her sub act as one – some you want to be your best friend, while others are so glamorous you find yourself instantly captivated.

In other words, the world of domination is huge and each Dominatrix offers something completely different; be that by her looks, her personality or her services. Perhaps this is why they all get along so well. They are not competitors, nor colleagues: they are a community, all linked by something rare, special and, most importantly, something not to be underestimated.

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