It’s that time of year again. We’ve asked our customers to submit their best, horny masturbation confessions for everyone’s enjoyment. Don’t worry, they’re completely anonymous! Read on to hear what you weird wankers have been up to…
Long Distance Lovers
“When a boyfriend and I were long-distance, I used to ask him to send me the porn he liked to watch. I liked to see what he was getting off to because I found it a turn-on to know what he was watching. I wanted us to get involved with Beducated, too, when I returned to the country. However, the relationship didn’t last. 😂 I’d take a similar approach with future partners, though, if they were up for it.”
Sharing is caring. This includes porn search histories 🍑🍆
Keep the Noise Down!
“This is major embarrassing! I was home from uni and thought I had the house to myself. So, I put on some porn and got my 11-inch friend out for some fun. I was close to finishing and had not been quiet when there was a knock on the door… My mum was telling me to keep the noise down. I nearly died!”
Always check that you’re actually alone before getting freaky.
Fap-cidents Happen!
“I don’t know how it happened… but somehow cut my clit on my vibrator.”
This is why you don’t buy cheap toys! Buy quality from Bondara 😏
Down Where It’s Wetter
“I love the idea of masturbating on camera, squirting and being forced to lick it up from the floor.”
I’m not sure this is what a thirst tweet means… 💦
Is Anybody in There?
“I almost lost my favourite dildo inside myself…”
Say it with me, people… If it doesn’t have a flared base, it shouldn’t go inside you!
Get Down with the Sickness
“I had to pretend to be sick and stay in my room ’cause I had a sex toy inside me. My roommate came home early… I don’t think she bought it!”
Those were moans of pain… because you were sick, right? 😉
Under Pressure
“I used to wank with a 2L bottle of Fanta.”
I’d like to this this was a mid-wank refreshment, but something tells me it wasn’t 👀
Does Size Matter?
“Got caught by my ex’s mum as I was blowing my load in the bathroom. Later on, I overheard her and my ex-girlfriend talking about my size.”
What’s that saying about a man’s 12 inches?
Turn Around
“I have to turn all the framed photos of my family around. It feels weird to see them when I’m jerking off… almost like they’re watching me!”
I always feel like somebody’s watchin’ me… And I have no privacy 🎶
A Reminder for Everyone
“I was having a cheeky wank, and it was amazing! But, right as I had almost cum… My toy died just before I hit the big O.”
It’s happened to all of us at some point… Never forget to charge your vibrator! 😢
Now you’ve read the best masturbation confessions of this year, why don’t you submit some more below? 😲 Or read our previous instalments in the sex confessions tag! Check out our Twitter and Instagram for more saucy stories and sex tips.
LM
May 21, 2024 at 8:41 pm1) I am going back a very long time to my teens & early 20’s. One thing I loved to do was to wank in the bath. I would get into the clean water, lie down and massage my cock till it was hard, then stroke it until just before my point of no return when I would sit up and hold my cock under the water level and finish myself off watching my cum spurt out. It was erotic to me and quite a contrast to seeing my cock shoot cum in open air.
2) Many years later when on a business trip abroad I phoned my wife one evening and while we were chatting she suddenly said ‘Do you know what i’m doing’ I said no I don’t to which she said that her hand was between her legs and that she felt wet & horny. We ended up masturbating together a few thousand miles apart, moaning and groaning down the phone line till we both cum. Hope no one was listening in to our call !!
Dorothy
June 30, 2024 at 10:49 amUsing voice and imagination whilst working up to the multi climaxes seems to heighten feelings all round. And using swear words which are alien to ones everyday language seems to add to the intensity of the cuming together.