5 top tips for a quiet quickie this Christmas!
Soundproof the vibes
It is the season of festivities, meaning everyone’s been invited to join the celebrations. How wonderful for everyone to get together, celebrate, and exchange gifts, but truly, you want to rub one out in the peace and quiet of your home—without the fear of being caught.
This is your time to get a little creative. Layers of blankets, duvets, cushions and pillows can work wonders to muffle the vibrations of your trusty travel bullet. They can also help to dampen a pleasurable sigh or the odd moan.
There’s also nothing wrong with turning up the TV or playing some music to disguise the sounds of a vibrator, although you might not be able to hear if someone’s coming up the stairs!
Schedule alone time
A well-timed ‘headache’ could strike at any moment. It would be such a shame if you scheduled one for right before your family’s traditional Christmas walk. It’s all the more believable if you’ve been on the Bucks fizz since breakfast. In the afternoon, the excuse of a food coma nap is perfect. Your guests won’t suspect a thing.
On the other hand, don’t feel like you have to ‘stay up’ just because the host is- thank them for the festivities and politely excuse yourself for an ‘early night’. Throw in a fake yawn and a stretch if you’re feeling the story you’re feeding.
Pick the right tool
This time of year is the time for giving… giving yourself orgasms, that is. Climaxing is known to release the hormone called oxytocin. Also known as the ‘cuddle’ hormone, it helps to reduce stress. So, by scheduling a petite mort, you’ll be doing everybody a favour during the stressful festivities.
Picking the right toy is beneficial when it comes to a quiet quickie. We live in a world where technological advancements benefit our everyday lives, including our pleasure. From rumbly vibrators to buzzy butt plugs, let’s find you the best aid to get you off without alerting the whole house to what you’re up to.
- Glass toys—Non-motorised glass dildos and anal toys are my go-to and an obvious choice for quiet play. They’re available in a range of textures and sizes for varied stimulation.
- Womanizers—I’m always surprised by how quiet the Womanizers are. The pulsating sensation offers a different pleasurable feeling and alternate mechanism, meaning a quieter session.
- The Grinder—Bondara’s Grinder is perfect for a humping time this Christmas. Easy to hide between layers of packing while you’re not having a ride. It’ll be your sleigh to get you through the day.
- Pocket Pussy—For the men, I have some tidings of comfort and joy for you. Compact and discreet, pocket pussys can pack a punch of pleasure. Remember the lube and enjoy!
- Anal Toys—Nothing a standard butt plug can’t make better, in my personal and professional opinion. Don’t knock it until you try it, lads!
- Cock Rings—Treat yourself to harder erections and longer stroking sessions with a cock ring this Christmas.
Bath/shower camouflage
Similarly to *Soundproff the Vibes*, use your allocated bathroom time wisely. The sound of running water can help camouflage any sounds of pleasure, making it a lot easier to clean up. Remember that people might use the facilities after you, so don’t leave any toys behind!
Go old school
When all else fails, there is always the traditional method of wanking! Quiet and discreet, plus you know your body better than a cock sleeve.
From everyone at Bondara, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Please leave your tips and tricks for a quiet night in the comments below.
