Erotic asphyxiation an act performed with a partner and is essentially choking or strangling. This differs greatly from auto-erotic asphyxiation which is breath-play done alone to enhance masturbation. Googling auto-erotic asphyxiation will undoubtedly horrify you with stories of death by accidental suicide, so put down the rope and find a willing friend to strangle you instead.
Erotic asphyxiation is the much safer option as you’re with a partner, so if you black out, turn purple or start frantically gasping for air – they can let go! Though I do of course appreciate that willing partners for such kinkery may not always be available… but don’t hang yourself! Seriously.
More often than not in this kind of scenario it will be a man choking a woman; there is an argument for the premise that women subconsciously like to be dominated that men, but we frequently see it the other way around too; we love femdom!
When you choke someone you’re able to completely dominate them; you’re holding them down, or against a wall, as well as controlling their ability to breathe and speak. And if you enjoy being submissive then there’s nothing better than the feeling of their hands around your neck as their eyes burn into yours.
But there is more to erotic asphyxiation than the psychological element of a D/s relationship; when done properly choking will restrict the flow of oxygen to the brain causing a feeling of light-headedness and ecstasy. At this point you have about 3-5 seconds before they pass out.
When blood flow to the brain is restricted it can produce a highly pleasurable feeling, much like a person may experience when on drugs – combine that with an orgasm and the feeling will be truly immense, hence why so many people are prepared to risk death.
Before you attempt any sort of choking it is important to have a conversation with your partner to talk about exactly how you’re going to do this and make sure that you’re both happy with the idea.
Tips for the strangler;
- Don’t restrict the wind pipe, that’s just going to make her choke and not really cause any sort of a head rush. What you’re looking to restrict is the common carotid artery so with your hands around the neck, put pressure either side of the windpipe and she should begin to feel less lucid.
- If she looks genuinely distressed, turning blue or struggling to breathe, stop. If she wants you to keep going after you’ve removed your hands she can say so.
- If you’re just doing this for her benefit and it’s not your thing at all – try a bit of method acting 😉
Tips for the stranglee;
- Always make sure you’ve got a way of signalling that you’d like to stop. As your ability to speak will be restricted you may need to physically do something to let him know it’s too much, like tapping him on the shoulder (assuming you’re not handcuffed!)
- Let yourself enjoy it. If you’re too worrying about giving up control or, well… dying, then you’re never going to cum.
- Be prepared with makeup to cover up any red marks on your neck if you don’t want the neighbours asking questions.
So if you think you’d like to try this manner of edgeplay, do it with someone you trust and I hope it rocks your world.