Ooh La La! Remote Control Multi-Speed Vibrating Love Egg

Instructed by master to order some toys. This item arrived, and thought hmmmmmm. Was not allowed to play with any until he was available for playtime. He inserted a set of 4 balls on a string then this toy, and what a surprise I got. Cream was not the only thing that happens. Squirting was like a river.

Now love this toy and get excited at the thought of playtime with the master.

I like this vibe ok, this type of vibes is my favourite due to power and ease of use. However, it sounds like a small plane/crop duster. Any discretion goes out the window :-(

Also, no way of getting into the insides, so if the wire disconnects you have to bin the vibe instead of soldering the wire back in place. Wasteful.

Oh, and the pretty coating rubs off, so I can only assume that it leaves glitter like stuff in my bits...

The vibrations are incredible, there are two settings and the strong one is STRONG! However there seemed to be some condensation or something on the inside after a few uses, I've had to replace it but it happened again, I'm not sure if that's meant to happen!

Utter garbage.

Sure, it's pretty, but that's about it.

I bought this on a whim because I like pretty things, though I suspected it was going to be a subpar product.... and dear god, how right I was.

The iridescent effect is a coating and was mostly gone after the first preliminary wash, which is fine if you're cool with unknown substances in your vagina and up your urethra, I guess, but generally a huge red flag and concern to me and it's astounding that a brand can comfortably sell a product so flimsily decorated.

The way it handled a dying battery felt incredibly wasteful: compared to other eggs I've had (where a lower battery meant it'd only run on the lower vibrations until the battery died fully), this one stopped working at anything other than highest speed (which, frankly, was not as impressive as other reviews imply) as the batteries ran down on power, seemingly preventing you from getting full use of a set of batteries: you are forced to change the batteries before they're dead when it also stops being able to run the highest setting. I know sex toys are high usage items but bloody hell, this thing ate through duracell batteries so outrageously ineffectively.

I got a mere three uses (covering the egg with a condom each time: while used exclusively on the clitoris, I did not trust how easily that coating removed itself to put this directly on my body.) out of this egg before it stopped responding entirely. Brand new batteries were useless against it, it had simply broke down and refused to come back on again in less than a week of gentle use. I don't know what broke, whether it was the flimsy wheel or something in the egg itself, but I do know that none of my usage was nearly rough enough to warrant this breaking so quickly as a result of my use.

You get what you pay for, I guess. It was ~£3 on offer so IMO it's not worth getting in touch with Bondara about 'fixing' this issue like the invoice in the parcel suggested I do: I'd much rather leave something honest and then dump this at the back of a drawer, than to deal with a customer service rep trying to convince me to leave a good review in exchange for X. Nothing Bondara could offer would make me content to not speak out about how garbage this is.

I'm gonna get saving for something reputable and recommend that other broke folk do the same: there's no such thing as a good & safe sex toy and a bargain isn't worth the wastefulness and risk of this piece of trash.