In this instalment of Kink Aware, we’ll be looking at hard and soft limits, and how to communicate them with your partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
While generally discussed within couples practising BDSM, such limits can also apply in any kind of relationship or intimate pairing. Especially if you’re curious about trying something new! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
A hard limit<\/strong> is something you have no interest in and cannot, will not be persuaded otherwise. This could be out of personal preference, an ‘ick’ or phobia, medical or trauma-related necessity, or – more so on the extreme end of play – against your own moral code. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whereas soft limits<\/strong> are boundaries that we’re willing to bend with exploration. These are the kinks, acts, and toys we have no or little experience in but are curious to try, usually up to a limit. A good example is being okay with having your bottom spanked by hand, but a wooden flogger is too much. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether kinky or not, in a new relationship or celebrating your silver anniversary, everyone benefits from communication<\/strong>. The more we know about what gets us and our partners going, the better the sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Limits within BDSM help you avoid harm<\/strong>, whether that’s physical injuries or triggering trauma. If you don’t know your partner’s boundaries, you could unintentionally hurt them – and none of us want that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some <\/em>people will say they don’t need limits. To which I say; some <\/em>people shouldn’t be kinksters. Very much like safewords<\/a>, if your partner won’t respect sensible precautions, do you trust them to respect you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some limits may be obvious; readers with heart conditions probably aren’t jumping to try electro sex<\/a>. Otherwise, limits can be difficult to define. Especially if you don’t have the vocabulary or confidence to discuss desires that lie outside the norm!<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is where a “Yes, No, Maybe” list<\/strong> (sometimes called a BDSM checklist) comes in. It works exactly how it sounds! Yeses are things we like and want, nos are off-limits, and maybes are open for experimentation. These lists also leave space for you to expand on. So, whether you prefer to be on the receiving or giving end (i.e. strap-ons<\/a>), as well as your previous experience and level of interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can make your own, but we’ve already done the hard work! Use the button below to download your copy of our Yes, No, Maybe List, it’s got all the instructions you need too. <\/p>\n\n\n\nWhy Are They Important?<\/sup><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How Do I Figure Out My Hard and Soft Limits?<\/sup><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n