{"id":10558,"date":"2019-03-12T13:56:54","date_gmt":"2019-03-12T13:56:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bondara.co.uk\/blog\/?p=10558"},"modified":"2024-04-26T10:22:43","modified_gmt":"2024-04-26T09:22:43","slug":"steak-blowjob-day-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bondara.co.uk\/blog\/lifestyle\/steak-blowjob-day-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"Steak and Blowjob Day – 2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you were to trawl through my search history (strongly advised not to), you would come to several conclusions. This person is seriously obsessed with sperm and everything semen, or, Steak and Blowjob Day is fast approaching. I suppose, in all reality, you would be right with either answer. I do <\/em>have an odd penchant for this fascinating fluid. But Steak and Blowjob Day, 14th March, comes but once a year, and it has me extremely giddy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

It is outrageous to think that this special, protein-packed day is not a classic Hallmark Holiday. Due to non-existent advertising, and it falling on a ball-aching<\/a> Thursday, you will have to execute a cunning plan if you want a successful PB & J, I mean, S & BJ. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You could try the blunt approach and boldly announce, “This Thursday, I want a steak and a blowjob, and I want them both well done”. But that outlandish strategy would leave a rather bad taste in my mouth. I prefer to start a few days earlier by inserting small, subtle hints into their psyche. After all, oral sex should be an enjoyable marathon, not a premature sprint. And, thanks to Google answering my questions, here are a few spermy bombshells to drop as this wonderful day draws closer.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Execute the Plan for Steak and Blowjob Day<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Over a casual glass of Merlot, and totally out of context, break out the “did you know that sperm is actually really good for your skin?” fact. Before they react, while looking deep into their eyes, quickly and confidently add, “In sperm, a crystalline polyamine compound called Spermine can be found. This particular compound is also known as an antioxidant. It is believed to diminish wrinkles, smooth skin and help with taming or preventing acne”. Then, take a sip of wine and stare into the distance as that nugget of knowledge sinks in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do not bombard your partner in one sitting. Mix it up. If you are someone who likes your essence being swallowed, go for something a bit different. Wait until they are brushing their teeth and casually breeze in; “semen is surprisingly low in calories and is extremely filling. Semen contains only 1% sperm, and the rest is composed of over 200 separate proteins. And do not forget the vitamins and minerals, including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc.” As they wonder what the hell you’re talking about, simply pat them on the ass and disappear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Up the Steak and Blowjob Day Ante<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now you have started the process, it is time to up the ante. If you want your penis<\/a> to truly enjoy this incredible day, I urge you to try the full-on subliminal approach. \u2018Hey baby, just wondering, have you had your tonsils out?\u2019. \u2018Wow, you look so beautiful when you yawn\u2019. \u2018Here, have a banana.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

And the pi\u00e8ce de r\u00e9sistance when secretly planning your meat and blowjobs day is this; settle down for an episode of Blue Planet and pause the TV every time a sperm whale swims into view. Act as though you are about to comment but suddenly lose your train of thought. \u2018Sorry babe, I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, where were we, oh yeah, the sperm whale!\u2019 (You can thank me for this one later.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, the steak part? Forget about the steak because to be honest, that lump of meat is a distraction you could do without. So, if you were waiting for advice on the types of meat you could eat on this glorious day, Google it yourselves; what do you think I am, a fucking butcher?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now go home and plant these special Steak and Blowjob Day seeds in your partner\u2019s head so that when Thursday comes, so will you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Click the link for tips on How to give the Perfect Blowjob<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you were to trawl through my search history (strongly advised not to), you would come to several conclusions. This person is seriously obsessed with sperm and everything semen, or, Steak and Blowjob Day is fast approaching. I suppose, in all reality, you would be right with either answer. I do have an odd penchant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":10571,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3075,3077],"tags":[1023,465,4501],"class_list":["post-10558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-sex-tips","tag-oral-sex","tag-sex-toys","tag-steak-and-blowjob-day"],"yoast_head":"\nSteak and Blowjob Day - 2019 - Bondara Sex Toys Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Steak and Blowjob Day, 14th March, cums but once a year. 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