For many, the idea of BDSM creates an automatic association with pain, being tied up and spanked into submission – but bondage play doesn’t have to start at the extreme! Dip your toe into kinky waters by introducing some softer styles of bondage to the bedroom.
It’s a common misconception that bondage is simply about pain. Bondage is sensual, intimate and – when done correctly – highly pleasurable. It lets you explore sensory deprivation, the power of being in total control or if you’re the submissive, the thrill of putting your trust in your partner.
When you take away one or more of your senses, the others are instantly heightened. The easiest and most common way to do this is with a blindfold. Once on, the wearer becomes more aware of their surroundings. By losing a sense that we depend on, there is an instant feeling of vulnerability. The imagination is allowed to run wild while the wearer is forced to use sound, smell and touch to visualise what is happening around them.
Love is Blind
Whether its fingertips gently tracing the skin, a feather tickler brushing against the body or the warm wax of a bondage candle, the slightest touch is intensified. Unable to see what it is that’s touching them or knowing where will be touched next, the suspense is half the fun!
Tie & Tease
If you prefer to remain sighted or combine types of bondage, why not try a bed restraint? The straps are designed to slide easily underneath your mattress and can remain there for however long you like (so they’ll be ready at a moment’s notice)! With four cuffs, all your limbs will be tied down as each one is fastened around your wrists and ankles. Usually featuring buckle straps or Velcro, they’re easy to untie for safe, confident play.
Once suitably restrained, your partner can take control – be it by using a massage wand, foreplay or sex, the possibilities are endless. Why not try being restrained face-down and indulge in a sensual, full-body massage?
Spank Me!
Floggers are a must-have item for a bondage beginner. With a larger surface area, floggers are gentler than whips or canes and create less of a sting as they land against the skin. Use the tails to softly stroke the skin, lulling your partner into a state of sensual arousal. Pay particular attention to the erogenous zones – such as the breasts, buttocks or inner thighs – to really awaken their senses.
Once they’re warmed up, flick the flogger and let each tail slap against their skin to create a power-play scenario that leaves them in the palm of your hand.
Most of all, trust is key. You need to be comfortable with handing over control to your partner (and vice versa!). Otherwise, you’ll find it difficult to fully immerse yourself in your play.
Whether you want to start slow or dive in the deep end, discuss beforehand any limits you may have. A ‘soft limit’ is something that the person is hesitant or reluctant to do but may choose to participate in, while a ‘hard limit’ is a boundary that must never be crossed. Also, don’t forget to agree upon a safe-word! In the heat of the moment, ‘no’ or ‘stop’ may mean the absolute opposite. We recommend choosing a completely random word (such as ‘pineapple’) to instantly break the mood.
There are countless ways to introduce bondage to your play. Take the time to explore what your and your partner’s kinks are and go from there! It may be that one of you is naturally submissive or Dominant, or perhaps you’ll prefer to switch. Lucky for you, you’re in the right place! Bondara stocks everything from soft restraints to hard-core bondage, so why not check out what we’ve got?
