Talking to new people can be hard and rejection is never fun, so we’re going to give you some tips to help you in your quest to learn how to ask a girl out. If you want to learn how to approach women confidently, the first thing to remember is that she’s a person just like you. She’s probably just as insecure and shy – she may also not be interested and that’s fine, but anyone who laughs at you for politely expressing an interest just simply isn’t worth your time, so swallow those nerves!
The technique for how to ask a girl out can differ depending on the situation and how well you know each other. Are you going to ask out a girl in a bar, or confess your intentions to a friend? By the way, the ‘technique’ is exactly the same whether you’re a guy approaching a girl or a girl approaching another girl.
- Relax – she’s just a person. Be yourself.
- Make eye contact – whether you’re in a crowded bar or you’ve been friends for a while and want to take things to the next level, direct eye contact that you hold for a couple of seconds (not too long, don’t be creepy!) is one of those subtle visual clues that helps to signal your interest.
- Read her body language – this is vital. Is she looking away? Is she smiling? If she’s engaging you in a positive way then that’s a good indicator that the next part will go more smoothly. Don’t sneak up behind her or interrupt her in a group of friends; that’s just rude.
- Strike up a conversation – if she’s a stranger in a bar, offer to buy her drink. If you already know her, turn on the charm. A bit of flirty teasing or physical contact can signal your intent – it only needs to be subtle!
- Just ask! If she appears to be interested ask for her number; what have you got to lose? The worst that can happen is she’ll say no and you can leave knowing that the next time you do this it will be a lot easier. What about if there’s something more between you and a friend? Speak up! Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way, but a good friendship can survive an awkward moment and you’ll feel better for getting it out there in the open.
- Follow up – if you ask for her number, actually call or text her! You’ve made a connection and chances are if she’s given you her digits she’s wanting to hear from you, so get going. No-one meets, falls in love instantly and spends the rest of their life with that person. A little bit of effort is needed, and talking on the phone or texting is a great way to really get to know someone and it makes her feel special. Don’t bother playing games either like waiting for several hours or days before replying to her, it’s a fast way to lose her. If you’re having a conversation, be timely in your response. It’s not unusual to be near your phone all the time these days – she’s more likely to take hours of silence as you’re not interested than worry if you’re replying too fast.
And once you’ve secured that hot date, check out our date ideas.
And that, simple as it seems, is all there is to asking out girls. Be yourself, be genuine and be polite. Gut instinct is a great indicator of whether you think someone will be receptive or you’ll strike out so listen to it. It’s definitely scary talking to strangers and telling them you’re interested but if you don’t try you never know, so be brave and get out there!
Check out our guide from the other side if you want to know how to ask a guy out.