The Newlywed Game Show Host, Bob Eubanks –
“Tell me, where specifically is the weirdest place, that you personally girls, have ever gotten the urge to make whoopee?”
Olga –
“In the ass”
Hang on, wait, what? Does anyone have this Olga girl’s number??
When someone accidentally infers that they have a hankering for anal sex on national television because she misunderstood the question, it makes you wonder what she would have said had she been on the same wavelength as the host. “Oh, the weirdest place, as in Location, Bob?” I like to think that perhaps she fantasised about a leather-clad threesome at the local rodeo? Maybe a full-on fuck fest in the cereal aisle at Tesco? Heck, riding through town on the back of a tractor-trailer, sucking on a dildo, throwing lollipops to the locals? Olga?
We Want You!
No matter what the sexual fantasy or geographical preference, whether in the ass or in Athens, we appreciate hearing about it. So, we are asking, “where is the weirdest, wildest place you got the ‘urge’ and just threw down?’. Perhaps, as a result, you continued towards your destination wearing wet socks and carrying your knickers in your handbag? Tell us all!
I can, eh-hem, ‘boast’ to steaming up the inner plastic walls of a filthy 20p for 20-minute public toilet. I unashamedly got my rocks off to the deeply sensual, romantic soundtrack of an automatic loo flusher. Sadly, the most thrilling part of that indecent encounter was the final, pitch-black 60 second countdown to when the space-aged door swished open. To this day, I still wonder what we did for that other eighteen minutes? I only went in there for a pee but somehow ended up in a V.
Are Those Tennis Ball?
There are others however, who are far more sexually overt. The exhibitionists who would almost certainly scoff at the unadventurous proposition of a fumble in a glorified port-a-potty. For instance, one balmy summer’s day in the heart of Wimbledon Common, I came face to, er, face with one such couple. This lusty twosome, oblivious to the family picnics and dog walkers surrounding them, were going at it like a pair of penguins on poppers. My retinas began to singe. I wondered if I should venture closer for further confirmation? I did, and yes, I can now confirm absolutely 100% that I love voyeurism.
We possess strong animal instincts and we should all act upon them, even in the weirdest place. So, say ‘no’ to self cock-blocking. Cast aside our morals, and our underpants, whip it out and shamelessly tell the world about it afterwards. Right? Right!
With the sound of me whipping it out ringing in your ears, get on your soapbox and proclaim your naughty dalliances.
No Olgas!!!!!
