Poor ol’ fisting has a bit of a bad rep. By some, it’s viewed as a violently penetrative sexual practice that can damage delicate tissues. However, by those in the know, it’s an act of intense trust that can lead to absolutely incredible orgasms.
Done correctly, patiently and – of course – with a good-quality lube, fisting will be a welcome addition to your erotic antics. Whether you’re the recipient or the giver, engaging in vaginal or anal play, fisting is a slow process that can be amazingly pleasurable.
Fisting Firsts
Let’s assume that both you and your partner are interested in adding fisting to your bedroom repertoire but you’re not sure where to start. To begin with, we’ll start with a disclaimer: fisting won’t be to everyone’s tastes but if you and your partner want to try it, you should.
Both the tissue of the anus and the vagina (vagina in particular) are incredibly stretchy and provided you use plenty of lube and go slow, you won’t damage yourself. Fisting may be a little uncomfortable and an unusual feeling at first but it should never ever hurt. If it hurts, STOP.
There are men and women across the world who enjoy fisting. Some women love vaginal fisting but hate anal, some love anal but hate vaginal, and some love both! Cosmopolitan spoke to two women about their experiences with fisting. The important thing to remember is that you should completely trust your partner and communicate.
With all that preamble out of the way, let’s begin, shall we? This Beginner’s Guide to Fisting applies to men and women and both vaginal and anal play. The technique is pretty much the same, but we’ve highlighted any particular tips or tricks for a certain hole as we go through it step-by-step!
Start with a Clean Slate
You’d think it was obvious really, but long nails will more than likely catch your delicate internal skin and make fisting a sore experience. Internal cuts also increase the risk of STI transmission, so trim your talons and file them right down before even attempting to fist your partner. Always wash your hands with a pH-balanced antibacterial soap. Even better, get yourself a pair of latex gloves that will cover any rough skin and also help your chosen lube last even longer. Just remember to check neither you nor your partner has latex allergies!
Fisting Foreplay
Fisting requires some warm-up; the receiver in particular will need to be really turned on. So, whack out the sex toys and indulge in foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay.
Lube, lube, lube
This is absolutely the key to successful and pleasurable fisting. Opt for a specific fisting lube if you can as these are extra-thick and particularly long-lasting.
If you’re going for vaginal fisting, regardless of how wet she feels, you will need more lubrication. With anal fisting, you’ll need even more than that as the anus doesn’t self-lubricate.
A good rule of thumb is that every time you insert another finger into your partner, add another squeeze of lube.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Once your partner is aroused, try slipping a well-lubed finger or two inside. You want to maintain their arousal, so don’t just try and shove in more fingers; stimulate them! Progress to three fingers and add more lube. Talk to your partner; if three is enough, then three fingers it is.
Don’t expect to be trying out some porn-star moves in mere minutes. It’s likely to take several attempts before you manage to give/receive a full fist!
If they want to continue, slip in a fourth finger, remembering to keep your fingers really close together.
Fist Pump!
Want to try the whole hand? Apply more lube and try inserting your thumb too. Scrunch up your fingers and thumb together with your thumb as flat as possible against your palm and give your partner time to relax into the sensation.
If they want you to stop, stop immediately. Don’t just wrench your fingers out, slowly retract them to avoid catching their skin.
If you’ve managed to get all four fingers and thumb inside your partner, you may wish to continue down to the wrist. The width of your hand doesn’t change much once you’ve got to the knuckles, but continue to add lube and take it slow. Having an entire fist inside you is an incredibly intense experience so always let your partner dictate what happens next.
Twisting your hand slightly or asking your partner to bear down (thus opening themselves more fully) can help to ease your fisting path.
If your partner is comfortable, allow your fingers to naturally curl and form a tight fist. Be guided by your partner. Some people want you to make a fist, others will prefer you to keep your hand and fingers straight. Some people will want you to stay still inside them, others will want you to literally fist fuck them. Listen to your partner!
A Final Note on Fisting…
If you’re the Fister rather than the Fistee then your exit should be as slow as your entry. Make your hand as small as possible and remove a finger at a time as you retract from your partner. Don’t just pull your hand out even if they ask you to stop – yanking your hand out is going to be way more painful than a slow removal! Always take your time to carefully remove your hand and fingers.
We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences of fisting in the comments below. Have we missed something in this guide? Tell us!
Val
March 23, 2014 at 8:17 pmMy eife and me have recently tried vaginal fisting. She was on the sevent sky.