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12 Lessons About Sex That Uni Teaches Us

1.Sober sex is best


You might be more confident after a few rounds, but if you’re too drunk then no one will be having a good time and you’ll only wake up embarrassed and in need of a bucket and a fry up. Once this happens, you will agree that sober sex is a lot more fun and a lot less messy. Plus you’re 100% more likely to remember it in the morning.

2.Be sure about your hook up choices


A good rule of thumb when you’re about to go home with/take someone home, is to pop to the loos for a quick wank. This works for both men and women. If you still want to go home with this person after your horny tinted glasses have been removed then go ahead and enjoy yourself! But on the off chance that you do change your mind, you will have saved yourself from waking up with regret! Score!

3.Always, always, always use a condom


Your Parents, Teachers and GP have been drilling it into your brain since that first talk about the birds and the bees. But that dreaded moment will come when you start feeling itchy or you find a bump that wasn’t there before or your period is a few days late and then you will be wishing you’d listened. Plus as a student free condoms are literally everywhere! Fresher’s fairs, the GUM clinic, your student union. Save yourself the stress and just use one.

4.Everyone is a little kinky


After sleeping with a few different people you will come to an understanding that everyone has a bit of a freak inside them who is desperate to come out. Even if it’s just a hook up who liked to give hickeys or a date who spoke dirty. Everyone has something and accepting this as a fact will have you feeling a lot more confident about exploring your own desires.

5.Cleanliness is underrated


You probably already realised that body odour plays a big part in sexual attraction, but it is often overlooked in the bedroom. If your partner hasn’t washed in the last 24 hours and you’ve just been out for a Chinese and a pint, then the following bedroom activities are guaranteed to be spoiled with the after taste of chow mein and the sent of BO. This issue is real, stay fresh.

6.It’s not as kinky as you think it is


We often go into uni with preconceived ideas and opinions about everything, including sex, yet that will completely alter during the next three or four years. One of the biggest realisations will be that what you thought was super kinky is actually pretty common. a.k.a Bum sex is not a big deal and most people are doing it.

7.Effort is important


Good sex doesn’t just happen. A little effort is needed for a night to be really amazing. Just because your partner is attractive or you’re really particularly hot yourself, will not mean the sex will be mind blowing. You have to put the time and hard work in to get the desired results. That’s why so many graduates have a strong work ethic these days.

8.Some people are trying to sleep


You might be pleased that you’re getting laid, but your house mates are guaranteed to not care nearly as much. Student houses have notoriously thin walls and if you want to have friends after graduation day then a little consideration might be prudent. Sharing is not always caring.

9.You’re not going to meet your soul mate during fresher’s week


Uni is notorious for bed hopping and sleeping around. This isn’t everybody’s style but it’s best to accept that many people are looking for casual fun and to be open about that if it’s the case. You are unlikely to meet your soul mate during fresher’s week. It could happen, but it’s just not likely.

10.Experience doesn’t guarantee a good time


Just because someone over in the flat opposite has been hailed as the campus fox doesn’t mean they will actually be any good in the bedroom. Choosing a sexual partner is not like applying for a job. Experience doesn’t matter at all. There are virgins out there with hundreds of kinky fantasies they are excited to explore and others with notches all along their bedposts who still think missionary is the only sex position.

11.A little preparation goes a long way


If you know that you are going out with the chance of staying out, then why not slip some essential into your bag or back pocket before you leave. A toothbrush or a packet of gum, some flat shoes or a fresh pair of undies. “I regret putting that packet of make-up wipes into my purse before going out last night” said nobody ever.

12.Nothing to be ashamed about


Let’s be honest with ourselves. It’s uni, the most exciting time of your life so far and if you want to stay in someone else’s bed from time to time then you should be able to do just that without any judgement at all. Just be safe and smart and never do anything that you don’t want to do. Who needs the walk of shame when you can stride with pride!

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