Sex toys, guides, games and tales from the Bondara office. One of the largest adult retailers in the UK and proud!

Fetish Friday – Burning Desire

Are you looking to really heat things up in the bedroom? Maybe you should try lighting a few candles…

Wax play, also known as temperature play or heat play, can be a very erotic and highly sensual experience. This fiery delight, however, is not just for those into hardcore BDSM; pretty much anyone can add a bit of wax to their boudoir and take sex to the next level… provided you know what you’re doing.

Hot wax? That sounds painful!

Well yes, it is painful, but in a good way. The amount of pain you experience has a lot to do with the type of wax you use. Some candles simply deliver a warm and soothing sensation, where as others are capable of doing some serious damage.

Using very hot wax is considered by some to be “edge play” as it pushes the limits of what most would consider to be ‘safe, sane and consensual’.

When the wax is poured onto your body, the initial sensation will be very intense, a feeling that you may consider to be painful, but as the wax cools your skin is left highly sensitive, so that every touch feels amazing.

Okay – any tips for beginners?

Start with a candle that burns at a low temperature so that you can get used to the new sensations. This will give you a chance to work out whether you could handle a hotter wax – You may love the intensity and crave something much hotter!

The temperature of the wax will change according to the distance from which it is poured. It is generally thought that pouring from a height of about 18 inches is a safe distance, but make sure no wax splatters into the eyes. If that’s not hot enough for you, try reducing the distance.

Something fun to try could be incorporating an element of bondage, or maybe even a blindfold, so that your partner has full control over your body and you don’t know where the wax is going to stimulate your skin.

Top Tip for Beginners: Try applying oil to your skin before pouring over any wax, as this will make the wax a lot easier to remove later.


A guide to candles:

  • Paraffin candles melt at around 130 to 135 Fahrenheit (54 to 57 Celsius)
  • Candles blended with  mineral oil (such as soft candles in jars) burn cooler at about 120F (49 C)
  • Beeswax candles burn at around 144 to 147F (62 to 64C)
  • Taper candles are exceptionally hot because the wax is coming directly from the flame; no pooling is allowed to form. Taper candles can be up to 160F (71C) dependant on the type of wax used.

To use candles as part of your erotic play, simply light and wait for a small amount of wax to pool. It’s not advised to leave the candle burning for a long time before you start to play as a large amount of molten wax will accumulate and may be more tricky to control. Once you have a small amount of melted wax collecting in the top of the candle you can try dripping this gently over your lover’s skin- slowly at first- until they get used to the sensations.


Safety precautions:

  • Check for allergies – apply a small amount of wax to the skin, if there is any redness or irritation then avoid using that type of candle as you or your partner may be allergic to the wax, dye, perfume or other additive.
  • Only place candles on a level, stable surface and well away from anything flammable.
  • It may be a good idea to keep a bowl of cold water or cold towels nearby, just in case your partner can’t take the heat anymore.
  • Do not apply hot wax to clothing as it may damage or burn the garment. Particularly some fetish wear could melt and stick to the skin causing serious burns, such as anything made from vinyl, PVC, nylon, patent leather, or other synthetic fabrics.
  • Avoid dripping or pouring the wax from too high as this will cause it to splatter and may scald skin or splash into your eyes.


Think you’re ready to take your sexual experience to the next level? Well have fun, play safe, and enjoy a much more exciting and much more sensual night of passion.

Bondage Heat Play Wax Candle – melt at a lower temperature to provide sensation without the risk of burning.

Bondage Candle – BDSM – Melts at around 54C for pleasure without burning.

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