We’ve been publishing Fetish Friday for a long time now and we get quite a few questions from readers about their own fetishes. So….over to our Fetish Agony Aunt, Charlotte for some personal advice.
(Leave us a comment below or email us at [email protected] and be part of the next Fetish Agony Aunt post!)
I like something quite unusual in the bedroom. Is there something wrong with me or could I have a fetish?
Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with you. We all like different things in the bedroom. Some of our tastes are rather main stream, like hair pulling or dirty talk, whereas others like to inflate balloons or have sex with trees (dendrophilia)! Whatever it is that turns you on, there are sure to be others out there who share your niche. Just embrace your desires and enjoy your sexual fantasies.
I’m worried that I’m not satisfying my boyfriend. We have sex in a lot of positions, we do oral, anal, etc, but I’ve seen some pretty unusual searches in his internet browser history. Should I be worried?
Many people have sexual fantasies which have little relevance to what they enjoy in reality. So whether he’s watching gangbang porn, anal fisting or hardcore BDSM, don’t worry – he may have no interest in bringing those fantasies to life! However, open communication is important in relationship so try sharing your sexual fantasies with your boyfriend and ask him to share his. You may have fun exploring new ideas and trying out sexual role play.
I have an embarrassing fetish and I’m apprehensive about telling my partner because I don’t know how they’ll react. What should I do?
It is definitely important to share your sexuality with your partner, but do so gradually, in a comfortable environment. So rather than telling your girlfriend “I want you to dress me in a corset, stockings and suspenders, tie me to the bed, slap me hard and call me Nancy”, maybe start by sharing that you’d like to wear her panties tonight and see how she reacts. Don’t be disheartened if your partner is shocked or even troubled by your sexual fetish. With enough time and talking they may become more comfortable with accommodating your fetish and hopefully even enjoy it!
I’m a heterosexual male but I really enjoy any kind of sexual play to do with my ass. I’m worried that if I talk to my girlfriend about it she’ll laugh or call me a weirdo. How can I talk to her about what I like in the bedroom?
Enjoyment of anal stimulation has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality. We all have nerve endings down there which makes licking, touching and inserting phallic-shaped objects feel great! Start slowly by asking your girlfriend to insert a finger during sex or to use her tongue during fellatio. If she’s comfortable with pleasuring you in such a manner then you can gradually move onto sex toys such as anal beads and butt plugs and then maybe one day soon she’ll be up for pegging you!
I really like the idea of bondage and BDSM but I’ve never tried it out. Where can I meet like-minded people to experiment with?
Luckily for you there are many, many people out there who are into kink and looking to meet with likeminded people also. An online community such at fetlife.com is the perfect place to make friends, discuss fantasies and find out about meet-ups in your local area. You can learn about different fetishes, bondage techniques and even swap photos and then possibly bring your fantasies to life. However, if you meet someone who isn’t into the kink scene that doesn’t mean that they will never be. You can stimulate their curiosity by discussing fun and exciting BDSM ideas and then hopefully bring out their naughtier side – it’s just a case of safe communication and bold experimentation.
That’s all for this week. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment on this post or get in touch via Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat (search ‘Bondara‘) and your question could be answered in our next Q&A Fetish blog.
Have a great weekend xx
