Bondage Guide For Beginners

What Is Bondage?

Bondage, or BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sado-Masochism), is a series of consensual sexual actions in which one partner has power and control in a sexual manner over the other partner, and both partners are sexually aroused by the power differential. Two common codes in bondage are SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). The key elements of bondage are respect, communication, safety, and consent. So, kinky can be fun, and if you want to try some bondage, this guide will explain the basics to you. You don't have to be seriously into pain to extreme weirdness to enjoy bondage.

The Dominant/submissive relationship (D/s) consists of a partner who has sexual control over the other partner. There are many varieties of D/s relationship. One type is Master/slave. Bondage appeals to people of all sexual orientations and genders. The submissive partner, often the woman, is tied up, trussed, bound, spread eagle, possibly blindfolded, forced into a bondage collar or spreader bar, given a ball gag to wear to keep her silent, and any other number of restraining sex toys that give her dominant - her male partner - total control over her sexual experience. However, it has been said that the submissive is the one with the true control over the direction of the sex play. It is vitally important that respect, consent, and communication exist in a D/s bondage relationship. Safe words - words chosen that signal to both partners that the fun and games must cease - should be used. Once either the subbie or dom utters the safe word, the sex play stops until the problems are worked out. Then, if they wish, they may continue.

Why Do Some People Get Into Bondage?

Couples who experiment with bondage most often try it because they want some variety in their sex lives. They are curious to try something different. Bondage allows them to let go of the control they maintain in their everyday lives. They can let loose and relax in the comfort of their bedrooms. People who are control freaks at work often love to hand the reins over to their partners at home and they are eager to take orders for a change. At the same time, people who are not normally the types who take control get to play the power card for a change in the safety of their bedrooms.

Some sex shops have begun stocking bondage sex toys in order to please otherwise vanilla couples who have developed an interest in light bondage. Bondage itself is a BDSM activity involving restraining your subbie with rope, tape, cuffs, and the like for sexual pleasure. Bedroom bondage is often used as foreplay before sexual intercourse, and there are all sorts of bondage equipment available to use in that manner. The dom then sexually pleasures the sub through masturbation, denial, spanking, using sex toys such as vibrators, or intercourse. The dom is sexually aroused by the struggling, whimpering, and pained utterances of his subbie, and the subbie is sexually aroused by the lack of control, vulnerability, and weakness of her position in relation to the dom that she trusts. Many people are either a Dom or a Sub, but some are Switches, which means that they are attracted to both roles. Pleasant bedroom bondage is most often depicted as inescapable and excruciatingly arousing sexual pleasure whilst being tied up, bound, gagged, and otherwise trussed as opposed to being in any kind of danger or pain.

How To Keep Bondage Safe

Safety and consent are very important to bedroom bondage. Two common codes in bondage are SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual), and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). The key elements of bondage are respect, communication, safety, and consent. Safe words are vitally important when enjoying bondage. Choose a word, series of words, or - if you like to use gags and are unable to speak - gestures that signify that you wish for the bondage games to stop. Sometimes bondage games involve faux resistance, and it may be hard to tell at first glance that the sub or dom is resisting for real. Forced sex is NEVER a part of bondage unless it is part of a very well-though-out and consented game. First, find out what your partner would like to try. Start off slow. There is no need to try out all the bondage sex toys at one time. Maybe start with some plush handcuffs and a blindfold. Later, add a ball gag and flogger whip. Take things slowly, and add one or two new sex toys at a time. Establish trust between yourself and your partner as you get used to your new toys and your level of restraint and control (or lack thereof). Use your safe word/gesture when you need it. Above all, enjoy yourselves. Bondage is fun and very sexy.

Bondage Gear


Under Bed Restraints

Tie her to your bed with under the bed restraints, and then use a feather tickler on her belly to tease her before you get down to business. Under the bed restraints are a great sex toy for first time bedroom bondage users. The restraints are adjustable and comfortable, and you can switch off if you wish.

Flogger Whips

Made of high quality leather and suede, you should have at least one flogger whip in your bedroom bondage collection. Gently run the flogger whip over your subbie's bare skin, and then come down with a hard "swat". The sound the flogger whip makes at it sails through the air is very exciting.

Feather Ticklers

Sensation play is a type of bondage that is lighter in nature. Use a feather tickler to tickle him on his back and legs, or run the feather tickler over her stomach while she lies on the bed tied into the under the bed restraints.

Blindfold Masks

Your other senses will compensate when one major sense is removed, so when you are blind, your other senses will work twice as hard. It's very exciting to be blindfolded because you don't know when that flogger whip will come down or when you're about to be spanked. Some blindfold masks may be worn as sleeping masks because they effectively keep the light out.

Ball Gags

Keep her quiet with a ball gag. Enjoy her whimpering and attempts to talk as you realize the power you have over her. Other types of gags include bit gags and ring gags. Ball gags can make her drool, which many Doms find very sexy. Just seeing your subbie in a ball gag can turn you on.

Electro Sex Toys

Add a little zing to your bedroom bondage with an electro sex toy. These electro sex toys use an electric charge to zap you with charged sexual energy. The anticipation of an electric jolt coming can be very sexually exciting.

Anal Speculum

Play doctor/patient games with an anal speculum. You may insert anal sex toys or have anal sex when you use an anal speculum. This is a popular bondage role playing scenario.

Vaginal Speculum

Similar to the anal speculum, the vaginal speculum appeals to those who like the doctor/patient sexual role playing game. Have intercourse or insert sex toys when you use the vaginal speculum. This popular role playing bondage game can last for hours!

Wartenberg Pinwheel

It looks a little like a tiny pizza wheel, but the little tines prickle your skin and make you feel as if you're about to jump out of your skin. Feel goose bumps grow on your skin as your partner runs the Wartenberg Pinwheel over your skin. The Wartenberg Pinwheel is especially fun to use on your partner when she is tied down and unable to grab it out of your hand. She'll be overcome with sexy sensations!

So stock up on bedroom bondage sex toys, and have at it! What are you waiting for? Your restraints are calling for you, and your new dominant and submissive selves are waiting to come out and play.

 

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