Blog

Sex toys, guides, games and tales from the Bondara office. One of the largest adult retailers in the UK and proud!

BDSM Aftercare


Aftercare

The media loves to dramatise and show BDSM relationships as latex clad supermodels brandishing whips marching around in six-inch heels tying each other up to hanging trapezes, but as with porn, it’s only half the story.

BDSM is not about 50 shades of abuse; it involves consent and care and one of the most important parts of this side of a healthy relationship is aftercare. It is the essential part of any BDSM relationship, which TV and film unfortunately ignore.

Aftercare is a form of communication, whether it is physical or emotional, which helps to keep everyone involved safe and happy. Any forms of BDSM can be emotionally and physically draining – excuse the pun. It is something that is not only sexual but also psychological, which means people may need time to recover from activities and this is where aftercare comes in.

Emotional Aftercare

Emotionally BDSM can leave people feeling a mix of emotions and so there is no single form of emotional care. It may involve calming someone and talking through experiences, examining what has gone on. It’s important to make sure all parties feel comfortable and satisfied. Also it’s a great way of finding out what worked best and can be used to improve BDSM activities in the future, so don’t miss an opportunity to talk seriously.

sexy-mine-sex-black-and-white-couples-passion-sexy-couples-sexy-hot-couples-sensual-romantic-love-bondage-woman-man-blindfold-dominate-sexy

The emotional bond between a couple or group can be strengthened by aftercare, some find this a time for expressing appreciation for one another and talking intimately, making each other feel loved.

Other people might prefer to be left to themselves or even take a nap and this is why communication is essential throughout BDSM practice and relationships, you need to learn what each other likes.

Physical Aftercare

Aftercare is not only emotional it is also physical. Depending on your kink, this may come as first aid, tending to any injuries. Lotions and gels for example can be used to relieve some pain and help protect the skin after activities such as whipping and caning.

Physical practices involve simple things like massages, cuddling and kissing or more practical changes such as taking a bath or changing clothes, different things will help people recover after an activity, so it’s worth finding out what’s best for you.

Aftercare Myth

There is one big myth, which surrounds BDSM aftercare and that is that in a Dom(me)/Sub relationship the submissive person is the one who needs aftercare because it is likely they will be on the receiving end of any activity.

This is actually not true and completely depends on those involved and how they are affected by the scenarios/activities and how much experience they have. So make sure you don’t just assume someone doesn’t need support.

Aftercare Supplies

 tumblr_mu5x1ijcPK1r44ango1_400

It’s a good idea to collect an assortment of things that will help you with your aftercare. This entirely depends on how you feel afterwards, but items such as:

  • Clean clothes
  • Massage Oil
  • Snacks
  • Skin lotion/gel
  • Blankets
  • Bubble bath
  • Painkillers
  • Toy Cleaners
  • Movies

The main thing about aftercare is to know that it is an important part of BDSM and even if you feel happy in your relationship and practices, it is essential to make sure other people do as well.

Stay safe and happy.

 

– Article by our guest blogger Jon who’s a freelance writer and third year University student. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

css.php