Fetish Facts

This week I thought I’d create a glossary of terms that are commonly used within the BDSM/kink/fetish community so that you can better understand this sexual playground. Enjoy!



Anal torture – pain inflicted upon the anus, often with sex toys.



BDSM – Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism – a term used to describe anything within the kink scene.

Bondage – The practice of physically restraining a person, often done with rope.

Bottom – I person on the receiving end of sex or domination – opposite to Top.

Breast Bondage – Bondage specific to the breasts. Breast restraint will either flatten breasts of cause them to protrude. Breasts will often become red and more sensitive.



Chastity – A form of sexual denial whereby a person is unable to touch or stimulate their genitalia. Sometimes a devices is worn to prevent touching; a chastity belt for a woman and a cock cage for a man. A device may feature a lock to which the Dom(me) holds the key.

Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) – Torture of the penis and testicles for masochistic sexual gratification.

Collared – A person (slave/submissive) who is owned by a Dom(me)/Master. Sometimes the two will be in a loving, committed relationship. Alternatively a Dom(me) may have more than one collared ‘pup’.

Contract – A formal, written agreement drawn up between a Dominant and a submissive. Such a document will set out all boundaries and limitations with regard to sexual and non sexual behaviour between the two.


woman on lead subD

Dom/Dominant – The person in control (with this spelling, usually male) – opposite to submissive.

Domme/Dominatrix – The person in control (female) – opposite to submissive.

D/s – Dominance/submission – Erotic play whereby one party has control over the other.

Dungeon – A room in which BDSM play takes place. Such a room may feature bondage equipment.



Edgeplay – BDSM play which holds a higher risk of causing physical or emotional harm than regular BDSM play. High risk activities include (but are not limited to) knife play, breath play, erotic beating and fire play.



Fetish – Sexual gratification being linked to an excessive extent to a particular object or part of the body.



Genitorture – Torture of the genitalia


tied up lady on bed shibariH

Hard Limits – Non-negotiable limits set by a person in relation to how far they’re willing to go sexually and/or how much pain they’re willing to endure.

Hogtie – A bondage position whereby the subject is lying on their stomach and their hands and feet are restrained together behind their back.



Kinbaku (Shibari) – A Japanese style of rope bondage which is both intricate and visually pleasing.



Limits – Something a person is unwilling to do.



Masochism – Experiencing sexual gratification as a result of pain (receiving). A “masochist” is a person who enjoys receiving pain.

Master/slave – A relationship in which one person (Master) exercises complete control over the other (slave). This can be for a short period or any amount of time up to a 247 live-in Dom/sub relationship.



Pegging – The sexual practice of a woman anally penetrating a man with a strap-on dildo.

ProDom(me) – A professional Dominant. (Dominates paying customers).



RACK – Risk Awareness Consensual Kink.


domme snow whiteS

Sadism – The act of inflicting pain. A “sadist” is a person who enjoys inflicting pain on another person. In a sexual/BDSM context a person experiences sexual gratification when inflicting pain on another person.

SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual – A safety protocol sometimes adhered to by persons practicing BDSM.

Sensation Play – A form of BDSM or sexual play that focuses on the five senses. For example, temperature play focuses on a person’s sense of touch. Sensation play can also involve depriving a person of one or more of their senses, such as by blindfolding them.

Slave – A submissive, controlled by a Master.

Soft Limits – Something which a person is hesitant to try but not something which they rule out completely.

Submissive/sub – A person who gives up control to a Dominant.

Switch – Someone who enjoys being both Top and bottom/ Dom(me) and sub, depending on their mood and the situation.



Top – A person on the giving end of sex or domination – opposite to bottom.

Training – A practice whereby a Dominant teaches a submissive how to act and behave.



Vanilla – Any sexual activity that is unrelated to BDSM/ a person who is not into BDSM.

Top 4 Hottest Tennis Players

So, the finals of Wimbledon is upon us! We are tickled with excitement – especially when it comes to watching fit men and women grunting and wearing very skimpy outfits. You may not realise the sexiness that the sport tennis can bring, so we’re here to show you. Below is a line-up of what we think are four of the hottest tennis players around. Sit back, put on Wimbledon, relax and enjoy.

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Six Fun and Kinky Ideas for Backpackers

As I’m currently backpacking through Vietnam and hearing lots of crazy hook up stories, I felt inspired to write a traveller themed Fetish Friday!

So for all those of you who are making your way across the globe with your home on your back, here are six fun and kinky ideas for backpackers

backpacker bunk bed bondage

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Don’t be a Drag, be a Queen! – Transvestophilia- (Transvestite Fetish)

I WANT TO BREAK FREE! I want to break free. I want to break free from your lies, you’re so self-satisfied I don’t need you. I’ve got to break free. God knows, God knows I want to break free…

This week’s Fetish Friday is about the fabulous world of transvestism (also known as transvestitism).

So what is transvestitism and what is a transvestite?

transv1A transvestite is a person who enjoys dressing as a member of the opposite sex. Most commonly a transvestite will be a man who enjoys dressing as a women. A man wearing women’s clothing is sometimes said to be “in drag” and referred to as a “Drag Queen”.

A transvestite is not to be confused with a person who is transsexual. A transsexual person feels that they have the mind of one sex and the body of the other and may take hormones and undergo gender reassignment surgery to become their preferred gender. A transvestite merely dresses as the opposite sex for fun or sexual excitement.

A common misconception is that a transvestite person is homosexual which in fact that is often not the case. There are many men who enjoy wearing their female partner’s clothing and have no interest in being with a man sexually. There are even notable famous Drag Queens and performers who are happily married such as Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries) who has actually been married to four different women!

Another memorable transvestite man is Chandler’s dad from the American TV sitcom Friends in which one episode there was a fantastic exchange between Chandler’s parents;

Charles Bing: “Aren’t you a little too old to be wearing a dress like that?”

Nora Tyler Bing: “Don’t you have a little too much penis to wear a dress like that?”

Although for many, dressing up as a member of the opposite sex is just a bit of fun, for others the experience is a turn on.

Transvestite fetishism is when a person finds it sexually arousing to dress as a member of the opposite sex. Transvestophilia is a fetish whereby a person sexually desires a transvestite partner.

In a relationship in which one (or both) partner(s) enjoys transvestitism, sexual play may involve one partner wearing the clothes of the opposite sex and maybe even dressing up with styled hair (or wig) and makeup. In bed they may act with unchanged gender roles or the transvestite partner may adopt traits more traditionally associated with the opposite sex.

Of course, not all transvestitism has to be quite as extravagant as Dame Edna… in fact, some men prefer to keep is much simpler and a lot more discreet…

transv3Panty wearing fetish is a type of transvestitism by which a heterosexual man enjoys wearing women’s underwear. The man may do so at home alone, in the mirror, in view of his partner or even wear panties outside of the house underneath his male clothing as a naughty little secret.

Some men even enjoy wearing a little more lingerie and feel sexy in bras, basques, stockings and suspenders. Actually, this fetish isn’t entirely uncommon and there are lingerie brands which exist to produce women’s lingerie in men’s sizes.

Some heterosexual couples may even enjoy wearing matching bras and panties as things get steamy in the bedroom.

That’s all for this week. Have a kinky weekend xx

Shower Sex: It’s Better When It’s Wetter

Why Have Sex In The Shower?

It’s something we have all done, or all imagined doing, but have you done it right? Here’s a play by play of the perfect sex scene in the shower and why you should do it wetter.

It’s hot. Let’s face it. From the warm water, to your soapy bodies and slippery hands, sliding all over each other, it just couldn’t get any hotter! So here’s how you do it right.


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How to have Festival Sex

Festival season is upon us and we all know that music, alcohol and general partying makes a lot of us feel like getting down and dirty. When it comes to festivals- especially in Britain- this tends to literally be the case as everyone and everything is utterly filthy. It’s not all bad though, because here at Bondara, we’ve got some simple tips for how to have festival sex.

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The excitement of a stranger

From a very young age we’re warned about the danger of ‘strangers’; “Don’t talk to strangers”, “don’t take candy from strangers”, “don’t get in the car if a stranger offers you a ride home from school”…

But sometimes, danger is exciting!

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Big Boobs!

Five Fun Fetishes for Lovers of Big Boobs

So little over a year ago I wrote a blog for those of you who love BIG TITS! Now we’re revisiting the topic of glorious globes once again so that I can share with you five fun fetishes for lovers of big boobs


One of the reasons that we love gargantuan breasts so much is that they’re visually appealing. Men especially are thought to be more aroused by physical features then women are – they like curves; big hips, big ass and big bust. Boobs look great in sexy lingerie, bikinis, low cut tops… (seriously, we can’t help but look!) So if you go crazy at the sight of enormous bazookas, try logging onto a live webcam site where you can see plenty of hot girls showing off their fantastic breasts and if you’re lucky you may see a baby oil show!


Breast slapping

Let’s be honest girls, who doesn’t like it when things get a little rough in the bedroom? I mean, even if you’re more of a love maker than a hard fucker, rough sex is fun every once in a while 😉

Tit slapping can be a great addition to hair pulling, face slapping, erotic choking and rough sex.


tits1Nipple clamps/ weights

Of course the most sexual and sensual part of a woman’s chest is her nipples! The chest and in particular the nipples are an erogenous zone so paying plenty of attention to them during foreplay could really determine whether your partner is aroused and ready for sex, or not. (Some women simply can’t cum without nipple stimulation and others can actually achieve orgasm through nipple stimulation alone!) A great way to add some hot nipple ‘torture’ into your bedroom play is to use nipple clamps. There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure and nipple clamps are a perfect mixture of the two; the exciting feeling of pinched nipples with the pain that comes along with it (and the longer you leave them on, the more it hurts).

Top tip – if you’re yet to purchase nipple clamps but are eager to try this out tonight, use clothes pegs! They provide a lot of pressure (pain) and are thus ideal for Dom(me)/sub role-play.


Rope bondage

If you’re into bondage and BDSM then you probably like to play with rope every now and again. Rope bondage can be thrilling, sexy and in some cases like a beautiful work of art. A perfect example of the beauty of rope bondage being the rope dress which can be crafted in many styles to create a submissive and enticing look. But, have you ever seen breast bondage? Honestly I think it looks painful. The breasts turn red due to the trapped blood and almost look like the rope will sever them from the body… but even if you’re not a huge fan of the aesthetics of chest bondage, the physical sensation and mental aspect can be hugely arousing and a very sexual experience. For tips on how to correctly bind your partner’s breasts there are plenty of step-by-step guides on Google that can teach you everything you need to know for some titty bondage fun.


tit wankTit wank

And lastly, the tit wank! If you have a fantastically large bosom then any red-blooded male would be thrilled to slip his hard cock between those breasts and fuck them! For a time I thought this act was simply one which looked good on camera and thus was often featured in porno movies but wasn’t overly popular in real life… but that simply isn’t the case! Men really do like it. However, lubrication is ESSENTIAL. Unlike your pussy, your chest isn’t going to become naturally moist (well, maybe if you’ve just finished a 60 minute run your sweat will suffice) but otherwise a little bit of KY Jelly or baby oil can be the difference between uncomfortable friction and immensely pleasurable titty fucking.


That’s all for this week.

And girls, don’t be disheartened if you don’t have huge boobs! Any member of the “itty bitty titty committee” can enjoy the first 3 fetishes on this list and breasts really do look beautiful in all shapes and sizes! But if you want your breasts to look especially delicious, check out Bondara’s very kinky range of lingerie which will leave your partner SPEECHLESS.


See you next week xxx

8 MORE Naughty Ideas For Your Summer Vacation

Last summer I wrote a blog post entitled “8 Naughty Ideas For Your Summer Vacation” which included skinny dipping, being the perfect submissive, sex on the beach, joining the mile high club, having a threesome, erotic shaving, ice play and living out your roll play fantasy. This year we’re getting excited about summer again with another 8 kinky ideas for those sunny months – all fetish related, of course.

So without further ado, here are 8 fun and freaky ideas to hot up your summer;


Inflatophilia includes all fetishes to do with inflation such as inflatable rubber suits, inflatable objects, inflatable sex toys and balloons (loonerism). This summer an inflatophile could have plenty of fun in the sun with a beach ball or even get wild with a lilo in the pool!


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Fun Ideas for Rope Bondage Fans

Not something we needed a blog about…or so we thought. Rope has so many possibilities it’s actually harder than you think to come up with specific ways to play, so I’ve gathered some fun ideas for rope bondage fans.

All around the world millions of people have an interest in bondage and desire to be either tied up and unable to escape or to tie someone up and keep them prisoner; rope bondage plays a huge part in the BDSM scene.

However, this style of bondage isn’t always as simple as tying someone’s hands behind their back; for some rope bondage is a very skillful practice and can even be considered an art form.

If you’d like to get serious about rope bondage then it can be pretty complicated and there are various considerations before you tie up your submissive, these include; type of rope (hemp, jute, linen, cotton, silk, bamboo, manila, sisal, nylon, paracord, MFP, synthetic hemp, polyester or generic polypropylene), construction (twisted/laid or braided), ends (whipped, knotted, fused, glued or taped), diameter (thin, average or thin) and length (short, medium or long).

… but if you’re a beginner then all you really need to worry about is whether you’d like your rope to be classic black, sultry red or hot pink!

So now that you’ve purchased some rope and you’re equipped to have some fun, here are a few ideas for exciting rope bondage play…

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