Countless films, books and hours with friends have been spent deciphering how women think. In the infamous words of Usher and Ludacris (who else would you take relationship advice from?): “we want a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets”. It’s time to abandon the stereotype of feigning headaches to get out of sex and discover what women want in bed…
Seduction’s Your Best Friend
Women want to be seduced. Whether we’ve been together a day, a year or a decade, seduction should start before our clothes are off. Feeling your rock-hard penis poking us in the back as we drift off to sleep isn’t the key to romance, Casanova. We aren’t asking for much – a quick shave and swig of mouthwash will do. Women love feeling like you’re going the extra mile for them, so treat it like it’s the first time.
Have the Moves like Jagger…and Timberlake, Tatum and Beckham
Women want to be surprised. It’s easy to fall into routine but don’t be afraid to mix up your moves. Imagine watching a television advert for the hundredth time: it’s boring, you aren’t paying attention and you know exactly what’s coming. Now, apply that logic to foreplay.
When you do reach the cookie jar, any woman will encourage clitoral stimulation – 8000 nerve endings is nothing to be sniffed at! While powerful, repetitive motions are the key for climax (it’s why vibrators are so popular!), a blend of sensations will keep us on the brink of orgasm. Try going from using your fingers, to oral, to penetration, before unexpectedly going back to your tongue. The same goes for positions; if missionary is your go-to, why not try something new tonight? If you’re stuck for inspiration, there are plenty of erotic books to help stretch your imagination.
Unleash Your Alter-Ego
Women want a new experience. Oddly, great sex isn’t just about the physical side: your personality can make or break the night. Don’t be afraid to lose the ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ demeanor and get a little aggressive with some light whipping and bed restraints. There’s a big difference between making love and raw, passionate sex. Give us a mixture of the two and we’ll be completely at your mercy.
A Marathon or a Quickie?
Women want you to read the signs. Some days, we may be desperate for hot, drawn out sex (lucky you!), but other times we may prefer to curl up and watch the latest Attenborough documentary. That’s not to say sex is off the cards, but if it does seem like it’s the latter, understand this isn’t the best opportunity to bring out a new box of sex toys.
Women want to be wanted. Take sex from clinical to intimate by looking us in the eye and kissing us. This may ruin the mood if we’re indulging in Dom/Sub play so judge the circumstances. Feeling desired and loved will make us more receptive to your touch – perfect for reaching that all-important orgasm.
Women want to hear you. Now’s not the moment to recite the presentation you’ve prepared for work on Monday but some vocal stimulation can work wonders. It can get a bit lonely during oral sex, particularly if it’s silent up top. Be responsive: reassurance that you love what we’re doing will push us to take more control (as well as being a welcome ego boost). As the atmosphere heats up, moaning our name will be a reminder that it’s us making you feel this way. You can even kick things up a gear with some dirty talk. Avoid cheesy “I love it when you’re wet” lines (because don’t we all?) and tell us exactly what you want to do. The bedroom’s the perfect place to get a little filthy, so have some fun.
Sex Toys are a Girl’s Best Friend
Women want it to be fun. If you’re curious about trying sex toys, do it! Start off with something small, such as a cock ring or bullet. If you already use toys together, it’s important to not become dependent upon them (as previously mentioned, mix things up!). Lock them up for a couple of weeks to refresh your sex life and reconnect. Show that you’re first and foremost attracted to us and the toys are simply a buzzing bonus.
Women want to talk about it. We’re more likely to spill our secrets if you show a genuine interest. Fantasies aren’t necessarily sexy – most of the time they’re really dirty (but that’s the fun of it!). Remember to distinguish between what’s acceptable in the bedroom and outside of it. If we love being talked down to or humiliated, this isn’t a permanent get-out-of-jail-free card. We want to discover what turns us on – but make that a friendly, comfortable atmosphere. If you’re excited about exploring our kinks, we’ll be more open to doing the same for you.
Take the time to discover what your partner loves. Mix and match these tips and have fun finding out what works best for you both. It’s not that difficult…really – we promise!