You might think you don’t need any advice on how to make a woman come, but according to the Cosmo Orgasm Survey only 57% of women have an orgasm during sex. When you compare this to the fact that 95% of men climax every time; there’s definitely some room for improvement!
The female orgasm and the journey to get there can seem complicated but there are a few key tips that can transform the way you pleasure a woman…
Perhaps the most important factor for any woman to achieve a satisfying orgasm is time. Having said that, when we’re alone, sometimes it can take seconds! Generally speaking though when we’re with a partner, the more time someone spends on trying things out, learning our bodies and just taking it slow makes for fantastic results.
Sex in general shouldn’t be a goal oriented activity; although of course it’s amazing if you both come, most of the fun is in the journey. If you’re only concerned with getting to the destination, chances are you’re not taking enough time to enjoy the scenery. Don’t forget women can have multiple orgasms!
If she’s flushed, wet and breathing heavily these are subtle physical clues that she’s enjoying herself. Good work! But don’t just rely on that, you need to speak up. That goes for both of you! The best sex is a result of communication- what you like, what you don’t like, a little more to the left, don’t stop… We’re not talking about a formal discussion necessarily (although if that’s what you want to do, go for it); you can communicate your desires in the heat of the moment too. What’s hotter than seeing her pleasure turned up to 11 by your actions?
With an outrageous 72% of women saying that their partner finishes during sex but doesn’t attempt to help them climax, the most sure-fire way to up your game in the bedroom is to make sure that she gets hers too. The best way to do this is to concentrate on foreplay to ensure that she’s fully warmed up before you even think about penetration. If she can have an orgasm or two before P even gets near V then that’s a bonus! I should hope we all know that clitoral stimulation is vital to the female orgasm so spend some time getting to know it. Whether you’re using your fingers or your tongue, pay attention to her body for feedback.
Believe it or not, when we say “don’t stop” we actually mean DO NOT STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING. Both the clitoris and the g-spot respond well to repetitive stimulation, so once you find a move that makes her toes curl keep going until she reaches the big O. Try not to vary your speed or pressure when she’s on the brink of orgasm- it’s not the time to be testing out a new technique. This rule applies to hand stuff, oral or penetrative sex. If you’ve got a good thing going, don’t change it up at the last minute because unlike with men it’s very easy for a woman to ‘lose’ her orgasm and be unable to reach that peak again this time. You can always try something new for the next climax!
Of course we’re biased, but a sex toy is one of the most tried and tested methods of making a woman come. Powerful vibrations provide a satisfying sensation that’s hard to replicate with your hands or tongue (not without a severe cramp anyway) so vibrating toys are more likely to make her orgasm. Plus, the vibrations travel throughout her pelvic area so even if she’s using a vibrator against her clit, the sensations can travel into her vagina, anus and everything in between. These multiple levels of stimulation are key to the female orgasm, so just imagine how it must feel with a sex toyagainst her clit and you inside her!
Read the full results of the Cosmo Orgasm Survey.
What’s your tried and tested method for making a woman come? Everyone’s different, so we’d love to hear your suggestions!