If you’re itching to be confident in the bedroom, you’ve come to the right place. This is the time to shed your insecurities and unleash your sexual prowess.
One of the most attractive qualities in a partner is their sexual confidence in bed. Letting them know you’re enjoying what you’re doing will get them hot in all the right places. Experience your seventh heaven with a few tips and tricks to get you to the peak of your metaphorical sexual mountain.
Knowledge is of no value unless you put it in to practice, and one of the most common reasons why people shy away in the bedroom is due to lack of experience. The best way to gain more experience and therefore more confidence is – you’ve got it – to have MORE sex!
And no, we don’t mean finding a different partner for each day of the week – just make love to someone you want to, and as often as possible.
What’s Right for You…?
If you’re unsure of what you really enjoy in the bedroom and what feels good for you, that’s okay. What we really like and don’t like in the bedroom can take time to recognise. To climb this hurdle, the best thing to do is to give yourself a bit of quality action. Yes, we’re talking about masturbation.
Explore yourself, try different positions and techniques. What may work for one person, may not work for the next. Try it out next time you’re having a bath, or lying in bed alone; you’ll figure out your own anatomy.
Don’t Fake the Big O
Be completely honest and authentic. You need to be able to tell your partner whether or not you came and how they might be able to get you there through other means. Being honest will get you more orgasms in the long run.
It’s absolutely okay if one of you gets off and the other doesn’t, so long as it doesn’t happen time after time.
Channel Your Inner Actor
Take inspiration from iconic movie scenes – whether it be the rain scene in The Notebook when Allie is whisked off her feet, or Fifty Shades of Grey when Christian puts Anastasia up against the elevator wall – let these take your romantic moments to dizzying heights.
Guys, take inspiration from the all-famous scene with Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Take note of how he takes control and even observes himself in the act. Try setting up a mirror and allow yourself to really enter the world of your character. Maybe avoid the chainsaws, nail guns and knives – it could give off the wrong vibe.
Girls, if you fancy channelling Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman’s iconic scene from the Black Swan, give it your all. Be in the moment, and show your partner what you can do when you’re fully aroused.
Leave Your Inhibitions at the Door
Insecurities can be a huge setback in sexual situations. It’s time to put your body issues away and release your alter ego. Sex is entirely about sensation and touch, not your cellulite or your lack of a six pack. Be the Sasha Fierce to your Beyoncé and dominate that central stage (the bed, we’re talking about the bed).
Enjoy the moments you have with your partner, explore each other’s bodies and roll about with desire. If the trust is there for both parties, there is no need to question whether you need to keep your bra on, or turn the light off.
Do Your Homework
It’s time to light the candles, lie back and put on a soulful RnB album from 2008. Lie together (preferably naked, otherwise this may cause friction) and run your hands over each other’s bodies.
The point of this exercise is to bring forth all the sensations using just the touch. This is something for you both to rehearse on one another. Try closing your eyes or introduce a soft blindfold into the mix. Touch your partner from head to toe, with varying speed, pressure and direction; see how they react. Take turns doing this and watch each other arch with pleasure as you run your hands over their erogenous zones.
Don’t fall back into the habit of your partner making the first move – switch it up and take the lead. Tell them you want them, and let them react to your proposition. If you believe you’re finally at the point where you can enter the bedroom and take control of your partner, you’ve nailed it (literally).
This is the perfect opportunity to give your partner a taste of your newfound confidence. Act the part – share your naughty thoughts, wear something you’re comfortable in, unleash your inner temptress, and scream as loud as you like.
Want to spice it up a little more? Take a look at our couples’ sex toy guide for some inspiration on naughty ways to heat things up.