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How to have anal sex for the first time

We’ve probably all thought about it at least once, but if you’ve made the decision to give backdoor fun a try, it’s important to know how to have anal sex for the first time. With proper preparation, it can be a hugely enjoyable and fun addition to your bedroom repertoire that not only feels great but also brings you and your partner closer together.

So, first things first. What Is Anal Sex?

Anal sex is simply penetrative or external play with the bum using a penis, sex toy, fingers or tongues. Men or women can have anal sex and it’s certainly not limited to gay couples despite the stereotype. It’s a contested figure (Office of National Statistics vs the Kinsey report), but between 1.5% and 10% of people living in the UK identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, whereas a Sex Survey by Channel 4 in 2011 revealed that 31% of adults have had anal sex. Just goes to show, a lot of us are at it!

Anal sex is a different experience to vaginal sex as the passageway is tighter and smoother, causing increased friction and more intense orgasms. Men also have the bonus of a prostate 2-3 inches inside their anal canal which when stimulated can create incredible sensations you can’t achieve elsewhere on the body.

How To Have Anal Sex For The First Time

The absolute number one rule and the top consideration with anal sex is do you both want to? If one of you has any reservations at all, then now is not the time for you to be diving straight into it. Take some time to warm up to the idea both mentally and physically. The more anxious you are, the higher the chance of having an unpleasant experience – so it’s worth the prep-time!

hot showerSecond thing to think about is cleanliness. It might not seem like it, but it’s really easy to make sure you’re clean and fresh down there for the most enjoyable anal sex. A shower beforehand is a great idea (plus the warm water is nice and relaxing) and we would always recommend using a douche or enema before sex so you’re clean on the inside too – remembering that when the water runs clear, you’re good to go!

lubricant on skinThird thing is lube and lots of it! The anal passage doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina and sorry, saliva just won’t do. A good quality water based lubricant or silicone lubricant will ensure you both enjoy anal sex as much as possible. There are also specially formulated anal lubricants that are thicker and longer-lasting for maximum pleasure. You should always lubricate the penis/sex toys and the area itself for the best experience.

patience sand timerLast but by no means least – patience. Start off slow with a finger or small butt plug and gradually warm up before even attempting a penis, as there’s no way either of you will enjoy yourself if you’re not ready. It’s not just the receiving partner you need to worry about here; if you don’t take your time and use plenty of lube, not only can you injure your anus but men can easily tear their frenulum or ‘snap their banjo’. Besides which, why wouldn’t you want to take your time? Anal sex is a fun, safe activity that anyone can enjoy as long as you’re mindful of the above advice.

Do you have any questions? Is there more you’d like to know about anal sex? Leave us a comment below (you can stay anonymous).

You can also check out some of our more in-depth Guides to Anal Sex below:

Butt Plug Guide

Anal Sex Toys Guide 

Prostate Massage Guide



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