‘A celebration of female supremacy’, the FemDom Ball is an eagerly anticipated event, hosted annually by the fabulous Madame Caramel. Three of us from Bondara were lucky enough to attend. A night we’ll never forget, it gave us an invaluable insight into the world of Domination and the perks – and pitfalls – that come with it.
The FemDom Ball was my second encounter with Madame Caramel. The first time I met her, I left feeling empowered with a new level of confidence. It was the same when we left the ball. It’s inspiring to be surrounded by such successful women; ladies who know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.
It’s safe to say it takes a level of confidence to be a Dominatrix. From the moment these women enter the room, they command attention. Through their beauty, their outfits or the way they walk, the three of us often found ourselves staring in amazement. It could be mistaken for arrogance, except every Mistress was so kind that we couldn’t have felt more welcome.
As the evening got into full swing, women greeted each other like old friends. Whenever we went to the toilet, all the women would be chatting in the queue, much like any other bar or club. The only difference was that, while they were checking their make-up in the mirror, they were also shining their latex.
Ball gowns and BDSM
The historic building was filled with ball gowns and evening dresses (as well as a few BDSM accessories). Some outfits were figure-hugging and revealing, others were demure – either way, they were unmistakeably glamorous. A Dominatrix doesn’t “look” a certain way; each one has her own style that reflects her personality.
One such woman is Mistress Evilyne; one of the world’s most elite Dominatrixes and renowned for her scat sessions. We’d previously seen her on our Twitter feed – usually with a whip in her hand or slave at her feet. She was the first woman we met when we arrived, and was so lovely and welcoming that we instantly felt relaxed.
Another Mistress shared a taxi with us on the way to the after-party. While we were chatting, she was so friendly that I struggled to imagine her whipping a man into submission. Proving that you should never judge someone by their appearance, she snuck off to change into a skin-tight, leather outfit and was thrilled at the opportunity to wear a giant strap on that was causing a scene.
Not your ordinary 9-5
As a career that takes you across the world (the FemDom Ball hosted Mistresses from America, Romania and elsewhere), being a Dominatrix isn’t an ordinary 9-5. Talking to some of the women, it became clear that it can be difficult to balance work life and personal relationships. One Mistress explained that she and her partner have a polyamorous relationship. It took them a while to get to the point they’re at, but they understand each other’s needs and desires, and a huge level of trust and respect is at the heart of their relationship.
Nearly all the Mistresses we spoke to agreed that their job is more about therapy than it is sex. Submissives are often men in high-pressure jobs wanting to relieve themselves of all responsibility, while Mistress Iris, an American Dominatrix, explained that she has seen an increase in female submissives since Trump’s presidency. In her opinion, women are having to be stronger and come to her as an escape.
Age is more than just a number
Clients range from all ages, and can be as young as 18 years old. Some clients prefer younger or more mature women, and Mistresses may choose to exclusively see clients over or under a certain age. Each Dominatrix offers something new. One was a second generation Domme, following in the high-heeled footsteps of her mother. Another was in her early 20s and had just finished university. Originally, she started this lifestyle as a way of earning extra money on the side. It didn’t take long for her to realise this was a full-time opportunity.
We loved our evening, and every woman we spoke to had her own style, passion and reason for becoming a Dominatrix. In a world where this lifestyle is often kept underground and secretive, the FemDom Ball felt almost like a family reuniting, and it was incredible to be a part of it.
