There is very little written online about the fetish sophophilia, but this lesser known niche describes sexual arousal from the process of learning. Now that’s not to say that a sophophile is close to rubbing one out in Math class, rather, sophophilia, from the Greek meaning “love of wisdom”, is to enjoy the process of learning new things in the bedroom from a sexual partner.
So for this week’s Fetish Friday, let’s take a look at why it’s important to learn new skills in the bedroom and what skills you can learn to spice up your sex life.
Why it’s important to learn new skills
You may be having mind blowing sex with your partner, making them cum again and again AND AGAIN… but falling into a routine is never exciting. When sex is predictable, the relationship can lose its spark. Even if “mechanically” you know exactly how to make him or her cum, it’s always a great idea to try something new.
The way in which learning takes place can be sensual and sexual with a guiding hand or a gentle whisper in the ear. Sexual learning should be enjoyed in an unintimidating environment where the both of you feel completely comfortable exploring one another’s bodies. For perfect ambience, try turning off the lights and lighting a few candles, putting on some chilled, sexy music and maybe even lighting some incense.
How you can learn from your partner.
The process of learning new skills and experimenting with fun ideas and positions in the bedroom can be a very intimate and sensual experience, deepening the sexual bond that you have with one another.
The best way that you and your partner can learn to pleasure each other is by being direct and asking for what you want. When your partner touches you, let them know if they need to move a little to the side, if they need to use more pressure or speed things up. When you’re getting close to climax and they need to keep things consistent, be sure to let them know; “Yeah, just like that, don’t stop!”
Non-verbal cues are just as important as the verbal ones when it comes to sexual learning. As well as listening to what your partner says, observe how their body responds and then act accordingly. If she’s trembling and her eyes are rolling back in her head then you’re probably doing a good job. If you noticed that he or she moaned louder when you put pressure on a certain spot, go back to that extra sensitive spot!
With one person is taking on the role of a teacher and the other a student, a somewhat Dom/submissive relationship may come into play. Sophophilia is a fetish that would work perfectly with Daddy/daughter role play or perhaps Anililagnia (those into older, more mature women). Sexual learning could also have more of a roll-play element as you enjoy something like traditional classroom Teacher/student play or Boss/intern roll-play.
What you can learn from your partner
Learning and experimentation in the bedroom needn’t always be sexual; not all things romantic and pleasurable have to involve sex! Take an oil massage for example; your bodies are connected and it’s a deeply erotic experience but there needn’t be any touching of genitals nor any penetrative sex. A massage is a perfect introduction to any sexual play as non-sexual erogenous zones are stimulated and the both of you gradually become more relaxed in one another’s company.
Oral sex is perhaps the time when it is most important to learn how your partner likes it as this act is one person giving pleasure to another. Although we all have the same basic equipment down there, how one person likes it may be completely different to the way in which another enjoys it. I remember a male friend once saying that the clitoris is like a vault; every woman likes it differently and you have to crack the code. Some of us enjoy direct stimulation with heavy pressure, others indirect stimulation and light pressure. Some like a lot of tongue, others prefer more fingers. Learn the way your partner likes it down there and become the best lover they’ve ever had.
The main event
A friend of mine describes sex as a dance – two people moving together. Making love shouldn’t be mechanical; this isn’t the circus and you’re not required to perform one acrobatic stunt after another, but there is still a degree of skill to it. Ladies, the next time you’re on top notice whether he prefers more up and down, back and forth for more of a twisting, undulating motion. Fellas, when you’re on top, observe in which positions she moans the loudest as that’s no doubt when you’re hitting her g-spot.
That’s all for this week – master the art of your partner’s body and enjoy as they explore yours. Have a great weekend!