We all know the story of Sleeping Beauty; the handsome prince journeys heroically to the gates of the princess’s castle, dashes to the chamber in which she sleeps and bestows onto her the kiss of true love, waking her from an eternal slumber.
We were all told this story as children, and led to believe that Sleeping Beauty was a tale of true love, but really, wasn’t Prince Charming just a sexual predator? Aurora never consented to that kiss; she was unconscious. Maybe Maleficent wasn’t using witch craft after all – maybe she’d just bought roofies from Garry ‘round the back of the off-licence?
Somnophilia is a sexual fetish which describes arousal from having sexual contact with, or sexual intercourse with a person who is sleeping. The fetish is also known as “Sleeping Princess Syndrome” or “Sleeping Beauty Syndrome”, in reference to the aforementioned fairytale.
So what’s the appeal of having sex with someone who’s asleep? Surely half the fun of sex is responding to the other person’s body, hearing them moan, feeling them cum…
In some cases the appeal of having sex with a sleeping partner directly relates to a lack of confidence; as the person is sleeping the conscious party only has to satisfy their own needs and desires and does not have to worry about pleasuring the other person and giving them an orgasm.
Often though, confidence does not factor into the appeal of Somnophilia, rather the taboo nature of the act is what makes it appealing. In some respects the fetish shares certain traits with ravishment fetishism, or “rape fantasy”, as the sleeping person is unable to push way, say “stop” or “no”. There is something naughty and exciting about the vagueness of the consent and well as the thrill of being completely in control.
In a similar sense, Somnophilia could be a stepping stone to Necrophilia in that, if a person fantasises about having sex with a dead person (another perversion beautifully captured in a Disney story – Snow White), but cannot satisfy this desire short of committing murder or robbing a grave, they can explore their fetish by way of Somnophilia; fucking a living person who is sleeping and motionless.
Once the person is unconscious they are objectified; free to be manipulated and manhandled, fetishized and controlled – somewhat like a human sex doll.
And what of the unconscious partner? What’s in it for them besides making their Somnophile lover happy?
Well, supposedly just being told what their deviant partner did to their vulnerable, unconscious body is turn-on enough. Something about the sinister nature of the experience and knowing that their partner enjoyed playing with their body is highly arousing;
“She wasn’t a huge fan of anal; also, she had a bad habit of getting SLOPPY drunk and passing out – dead to the world. I made a joke one night that, if she got that drunk again I’d fuck her ass while she was passed out. She responded by downing her whole drink.
“There are girls who love to have sexual things done to them when they’re asleep; to be told in the morning what was done to them and how they responded.”
In addition to the gory and graphic morning-after details, having a partner stimulate and pleasure your body whilst you’re sleeping can supposedly give a person wildly erotic sex dreams – and sex dreams are just hot sex without any inhibitions or boundaries, right?
One guy told me of how the risk of her waking was all part of the fun;
“Everyone likes a challenge; it’s like a game. How far can you go without waking her up? If you do, it’s game over. It’s kind of like playing that buzz doctor game as a kid.”
Whereas another gentleman who wrote of his fetish online described how if his girlfriend woke the fun was over completely;
“It ruins the entire experience. I can’t even stay erect unless she’s asleep.”
That’s all for this week, sweet dreams 😉