I suppose this is a fetish I’ve been putting off for a while as it’s one I ‘nearly’ encountered personally (and if you’re reading this, I hope you don’t mind me sharing).
I was travelling alone through South-East Asia in 2014 when I met a man whom I took an instant liking to. Over lunch one afternoon he asked me about my work as a writer and I decided to tell him about this blog; a different sexual fetish each week. He was very interested, as everyone tends to be, and began asking me questions about various fetishes.
Unbeknown to me, within this list of fetishes he slyly included one of his own and would later tell me that he was very disappointed with my response;
“What about men wearing women’s underwear, would you like that?”
“No that’s not something I’m into. I like my men to be men.”
It was more than a week later, after lots of very good ‘normal’ sex that he finally told me about his fetish and reminded me of our conversation over lunch that day. I didn’t really know what to say. I was that open-minded girl, the sex writer, the girl who considered almost nothing to be taboo or dirty… but any kind of male feminisation has always been a big turn-off for me.
It wasn’t too big of a problem however as the following morning was leaving for pastures new. In hindsight perhaps I should have left a pair of lacy knickers behind…
So what exactly is this Fetish?
A man’s desire to wear a woman’s knickers is known as underwear fetishism or lingerie fetishism. This fetish covers anything from a man wearing pink cotton panties to the office under his suit and tie, to a man wearing a bra, panties, stockings and suspenders when having sex with his girlfriend.
How does lingerie fetishism differ from cross dressing?
A man who is only interested in wearing women’s panties or lingerie will generally identify as male. He may wear panties and even a bra under his “men’s clothing” every day but has no desire to look like or be viewed as a woman.
A cross dresser is a person who dresses in a way which makes them look like the opposite gender. More often than not “cross dressing” refers to a man dressing as a woman, but can describe a woman dressing as a man. A cross dresser wishes to be viewed as the opposite gender for reasons which may or may not be sexual. As well as wearing women’s underwear, a cross dressing man will wear women’s clothing, shoes, make-up and often a wig.
In fact, if your boyfriend confesses to you that he’d like to wear your g-string and you call him a cross dresser, he will most likely be offended. Generally underwear fetishism, or lingerie fetishism, refers to a heterosexual male, thus many underwear fetishist feel the need to reinforce “I’m not gay, I like women.”
So if lingerie fetishism has nothing to do with looking like a woman or identifying with one’s feminine side, why do guys like to wear bras and panties? A lot of the appeal has to do with the look and feel of the briefs; the soft cotton, smooth silk and sexy lace. Women’s underwear differs greatly from men’s boxers which are usually very simple and lack any kind of seductive appeal.
Browsing panty-wearing forums I read several stories of guys trying on women’s underwear for the first time and their cocks getting instantly hard. I suppose it makes sense really; women’s lingerie is sexy! Lingerie is associated with sex and beautiful women so is bound to be arousing.
None the less, many guys worry about telling their wives or girlfriend’s of their fetish for fear of being met with a reaction like mine – or worse! There are women out there who enjoy seeing guys in their panties, so you may just have to keep looking fellas.
And ladies, it may be a good idea to be a little more open minded as this fetish is pretty common. Your man can still be “masculine” in every conceivable way; how much can a lacy pink thong really deduct from a handsome beard and glorious pecs?
I like to think that in future I’d be a little more accommodating – you should be too!
See you next week x