This week I thought I’d create a glossary of terms that are commonly used within the BDSM/kink/fetish community so that you can better understand this sexual playground. Enjoy!
Anal torture – pain inflicted upon the anus, often with sex toys.
BDSM – Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism – a term used to describe anything within the kink scene.
Bondage – The practice of physically restraining a person, often done with rope.
Bottom – I person on the receiving end of sex or domination – opposite to Top.
Breast Bondage – Bondage specific to the breasts. Breast restraint will either flatten breasts of cause them to protrude. Breasts will often become red and more sensitive.
Chastity – A form of sexual denial whereby a person is unable to touch or stimulate their genitalia. Sometimes a devices is worn to prevent touching; a chastity belt for a woman and a cock cage for a man. A device may feature a lock to which the Dom(me) holds the key.
Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) – Torture of the penis and testicles for masochistic sexual gratification.
Collared – A person (slave/submissive) who is owned by a Dom(me)/Master. Sometimes the two will be in a loving, committed relationship. Alternatively a Dom(me) may have more than one collared ‘pup’.
Contract – A formal, written agreement drawn up between a Dominant and a submissive. Such a document will set out all boundaries and limitations with regard to sexual and non sexual behaviour between the two.
Dom/Dominant – The person in control (with this spelling, usually male) – opposite to submissive.
Domme/Dominatrix – The person in control (female) – opposite to submissive.
D/s – Dominance/submission – Erotic play whereby one party has control over the other.
Dungeon – A room in which BDSM play takes place. Such a room may feature bondage equipment.
Edgeplay – BDSM play which holds a higher risk of causing physical or emotional harm than regular BDSM play. High risk activities include (but are not limited to) knife play, breath play, erotic beating and fire play.
Fetish – Sexual gratification being linked to an excessive extent to a particular object or part of the body.
Genitorture – Torture of the genitalia
Hard Limits – Non-negotiable limits set by a person in relation to how far they’re willing to go sexually and/or how much pain they’re willing to endure.
Hogtie – A bondage position whereby the subject is lying on their stomach and their hands and feet are restrained together behind their back.
Kinbaku (Shibari) – A Japanese style of rope bondage which is both intricate and visually pleasing.
Limits – Something a person is unwilling to do.
Masochism – Experiencing sexual gratification as a result of pain (receiving). A “masochist” is a person who enjoys receiving pain.
Master/slave – A relationship in which one person (Master) exercises complete control over the other (slave). This can be for a short period or any amount of time up to a 247 live-in Dom/sub relationship.
Pegging – The sexual practice of a woman anally penetrating a man with a strap-on dildo.
ProDom(me) – A professional Dominant. (Dominates paying customers).
RACK – Risk Awareness Consensual Kink.
Sadism – The act of inflicting pain. A “sadist” is a person who enjoys inflicting pain on another person. In a sexual/BDSM context a person experiences sexual gratification when inflicting pain on another person.
SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual – A safety protocol sometimes adhered to by persons practicing BDSM.
Sensation Play – A form of BDSM or sexual play that focuses on the five senses. For example, temperature play focuses on a person’s sense of touch. Sensation play can also involve depriving a person of one or more of their senses, such as by blindfolding them.
Slave – A submissive, controlled by a Master.
Soft Limits – Something which a person is hesitant to try but not something which they rule out completely.
Submissive/sub – A person who gives up control to a Dominant.
Switch – Someone who enjoys being both Top and bottom/ Dom(me) and sub, depending on their mood and the situation.
Top – A person on the giving end of sex or domination – opposite to bottom.
Training – A practice whereby a Dominant teaches a submissive how to act and behave.
Vanilla – Any sexual activity that is unrelated to BDSM/ a person who is not into BDSM.