Hello Bondara Bunnies,
Today we’ll be doing another Fetish Friday Agony Aunt blog post in which I answer your pressing questions about sex, relationships and even kinkier topics.
(Leave us a comment below or email us at [email protected] and be part of the next Fetish Agony Aunt post!)
So let’s dive right into it…
Q. Nothing turns me on more than really rough sex – but my boyfriend isn’t rough enough with me! He says “I’m worried I’ll hurt you”. There’s nothing more of a turn off than limp hair pulling or a weak slap to the face. What should I do?
To a lot of men, physically abusing a woman goes against everything they’ve been taught and had reinforced their whole lives; “Son, NEVER hit a woman!” Trying to undo years of mental conditioning can be difficult… but he is capable of doing what you want him to do. Just keep reassuring him that he’s not hurting you, that what he’s doing is turning you on and always tell him “harder” when you want him to be more rough. It’s still important to have a safe word in place however in case he really gets into the swing of things and goes too far.
Q. I have a sexual fetish that my girlfriend isn’t into. Consequently, I satisfy my urges by role playing with girls on webcam sites – and I pay them for their time. The problem is my girlfriend has no idea what I’m doing and I kind of feel like I’m cheating. Should I tell my girlfriend what I’ve been up to?
I’ve always found that honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships as the truth will almost certainly come out at some point. If your girlfriend has no interest in indulging your fetish then maybe she’ll be understanding of your need to seek fulfillment online. However, if your girlfriend is shocked and hurt by what you tell her then you may have to consider whether you really want to be in a relationship where you’re sexually repressed.
Q. My boyfriend sucks at giving head! He loves doing it and thinks he’s God’s gift to women, but I hate it! He’s SO ROUGH that it hurts… but he thinks the noises I make are groans of pleasure! How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?
You have to tell him ASAP. You can’t go on like this – trust me, I’ve been there. If it’s a one night stand then it’s okay to tolerate bad head for a little while for the sake of being polite, but if you’re looking to have something long term with this person then he needs to up his game! Your boyfriend should understand every inch of your body and learn how to play it like a fine instrument. If you’d like to be delicate with his feelings then try offering direction as he’s going down on you, by saying, for instance; “a little gentler please baby”. But if he’s REALLY BAD then you may just need to sit him down and be brutally honest. It will probably be a tough pill for him to swallow at first but having that talk will greatly benefit your relationship in the long run.
Q. My boyfriend wants to watch me get fucked by another man but I’m not sure how I feel about it – isn’t that kind of like cheating?
The act of cheating isn’t defined by the act of sleeping with another person; rather, it’s defined by the act of deceit. There are plenty of couples out there in committed relationships that invite other people to join them in the bedroom or even have sex (swing) with other people or other couples when their partner isn’t around. So long as any sex you have with another person is permitted, or in your case encouraged by your partner then you have nothing to worry about. If you think you’d feel comfortable with another man in front of your boyfriend then I say go for it! This is a golden opportunity to explore your sexuality whilst giving your boyfriend a hot show to watch.
That’s all for this week. Remember to send your questions to [email protected] or to leave them in the comments section down below. Have a great weekend Xx