The very definition of a fetish is that sexual gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular item or body part. So, does your fetish make you cum? And is it important? Although gratification (i.e., sexual climax) may be linked to the fetish, climax isn’t always achieved, nor is it necessarily always desired.
For some, having an orgasm isn’t a necessary part of meeting one’s fetish needs, rather, acting out a fantasy or tending to some other physical need (such as inflicting pain) is enough to satisfy the desire.
Let’s take a look at three types of fetishist:
- Orgasm achieved ONLY when fetish needs are met.
This is generally how a fetish is thought to work; a person is unable to achieve arousal or reach sexual climax without the presence of a certain desired object or body part. For instance, someone with a very extreme fetish for feet may only be able to get off when looking at, touching or smelling feet. In the absence of feet, climax would be difficult or perhaps impossible.
- Orgasm achieved with or without inclusion of fetish.
Perhaps many of us full under this category. Rather than having an overwhelming fetish we simply have a preference for something in the bedroom; be that an aesthetic preference or a desire for a certain sexual act. For example, a pogonophile may have a strong preference for a bearded partner but that doesn’t necessarily mean that she or he could not achieve orgasm with a clean-shaven man.
- Fetish needs do not require attainment of orgasm.
Now this is the slightly more unusual category whereby orgasms isn’t achieved through fetish play and in some cases is not even desired. In such an instance the fetish manifests more as a mental fantasy than as a physical need. Fulfilling the fantasy alone, without any physical release, can be enough to please the person.
To illustrate further, here are a few examples of fetishes which are “anticlimactic”;
Submission to a Dom(me)
The first example would be a Dom(me)/sub relationship – often neither one of them will cum during BDSM play. Do you remember the episode of Secret Diary of a Call Girl where she tried her hand as a Dominatrix? (I know I reference that show too often but I loved it – and it brought fetish to the mainstream!) Anyway, she had a lowly slave guy that licked her boots, cleaned her toilet and took several lashing, but at no point did he touch himself or achieve orgasm.
20Although inanimate objects may be used, in a fetish sense to achieve climax, that’s not always the case. Take looner parties for example; balloon fetishists attend, inflate balloons, stroke them and rub themselves upon them but they don’t necessarily cum. The same can be said for cars, trees or just about any object of a person’s sexual desire.
Japanese Ball Busting (and CBT)
When a girl kicks a guy (as had as she possibly can) in the gonads, he’s not going to cum, that’s for sure! However, the guy may then fantasise about this act afterwards and use the memory to cum whilst masturbating later.
Some men have a fetish to be chastised and, more specifically, to wear a chastity device. Wearing a chastity device makes it impossible for the man’s cock to become hard therefore making it very difficult for him to cum. In this instance the pain and frustration of being unable to get hard and unable to cum is what the man finds satisfying, in a masochistic sense.
Lastly, orgasm denial. Some people actually enjoy being told that they’re forbidden to cum. When torturing such a person, a Dom(me) may pleasure their sub, thus allowing them to get very close to orgasm and then deny them the release. Although such sexual play may be torturous, when he or she finally does cum at some later point it will be earth-shattering!
That’s all for this week xx