It is believed that many of us have a sexual fetish – some people even hold true that “everyone” has a fetish, although I’m not convinced. Yet when we’re told that someone has a fetish, what do we think? We think they’re weird, perverted… maybe even scary?
To the most conservative members of society just hearing the world “fetish” will conjure up images of the basement scene from Pulp Fiction. So this week, rather than talking about fetishes, let’s talk about the people who have them!
Here are 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Someone with a Fetish;
- We don’t actually have sex dungeons.
Having a fetish isn’t like some kinky Dexter’s Laboratory where we all have a BDSM dungeon under our beds, nor do we each have Christian Grey style “red room”. If you have a fetish you don’t need a whole wing of your house devoted to debauchery; plenty of fun can be had in the bedroom.
- We don’t all wear black leather.
Similarly we don’t all strut around at home in black leather outfits, thigh high boots and gimp masks. Sure dressing up can be fun but we still appreciate the timeless appeal of sexy lingerie… and the birthday suit, of course!
- Fetishists are normal people with regular jobs.
Having a sexual fetish doesn’t make you a social misfit. Just because a man enjoys being taken up the arse by his wife with a strap-on dildo doesn’t mean he can’t be a perfectly good police officer or of a Supreme Court judge. Similarly, a woman may find it very erotic to be smothered it custard and slapped on the tits but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a doctor, or ever a vicar! So the next time you look at a teacher, electrician, tennis coach… or anyone, be sure to imagine them in an adult diaper, bent over a stool being spanked with a paddle.
- We enjoy “ordinary” sex too!
Just because we have a few unique quirks and interests in the bedroom doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy ordinary sex as well! A person with a fetish still has all the same erogenous zones, enjoys a lot of the same visual stimuli and ultimately wants to cum! Don’t ever allow the knowledge that someone has a fetish to deter you from getting into bed with them. They’ll enjoy whatever it is you do and maybe even show you a couple of new tricks.
- Fetishes aren’t scary, they’re fun!
On a related note – fetishes shouldn’t be scary! Sure a lot of them may seem intimidating and painful from an outsider’s perspective (and yes, sometimes pain is the objective), but unless both parties are enjoying the fetish play then there’s no point to it! Whether you’re experimenting with urethral sounding rods, ball gags or chastity cages, fetish play should be always be a lot of fun!
- Many fetishes are tame and unintimidating.
A fetish by definition is “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.” So although a person’s fetish could be something completely outrageous, like an inflatable penguin or human mummification, it could likewise be something very ordinary like a strong preference for redheads, feet or big boobs.
- We weren’t all abused as children!
If you ever read 50 Shades of Grey, which you probably did, then you might be under the impression that anyone who’s into BDSM had some kind of traumatic sexual experience as a child or young adult. Well, that simply isn’t the case. Although there are people in the BDSM community who do come from a background of abuse, some kinky folk were raised in perfectly happy families and just enjoy getting extra naughty and experimental in the boudoir.
- Many of us develop fetishes in later life.
Having a fetish, usually, isn’t something innate. Often a fetish is acquired during our teen or adult years as we experiment with sex and enjoy encounters with various different partners.
- We’ve found friendship through fetish.
When you delve into the world of fetish and BDSM you can find plenty of likeminded people online who share your interests. As well as chatting and swapping stories over the internet you can also go to fetish meet-ups and parties and have all kinds of interesting encounters!
- Okay – we do like to get a bit weird sometimes!
Lastly, I have to admit, some of us really are into some weird stuff! From ball busting, to furries, cuckolding and face farting there are certainly lots of very bizarre fetishist out there… but I’m sure if you saw one of us down the pub having a pint you’d be none the wiser that we’re quietly concealing a 9-inch butt plug.
Have a great weekend!